I attempted suicide again this month. Well, attempted isn’t really the right word. I was going to join a Suicide Pact but to my surprise, someone contacted the authorities beforehand and stopped us. After taking any tests, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Insomnia. But hey, at least I got a new batch of pills. Man, the workers in the mental ward are true assholes, treating you like your crazy, it’s really annoying. Well, at least I was able to get out.
Wow, what a month. I attempted suicide twice, and I lost my job, what can I do now? Become a hobo? Attempt Suicide a 3rd time? I am getting some pretty strong pills, and I have 40 bucks, I can buy some Advil and alcohol  and make the ultimate suicide formula; 60 advils, 30 anxiety pills, 30 anti depressants, 30 sleeping pills, some mood stabalizers, a couple of leftover pills I have in my apartment, and drink it all  down with some alcohol….
Anyways, I’m off to seclude myself once again. Umm… See you guys later. Bye.
20 comments
Hey stranger, I am too in a lot of pain…. a lingering pain that will never go away and I cry constantly for no reason now… I too like to go to sleep forever and never wake up again. But… if attempted suicide 3 times and failed… something in the universe is telling you that you’re not meant to die now. Not yet, I know… its a leap of faith. But if you tried 3 times and failed. Something in this world is telling you something now… Don’t do it. Because there’s people out there you don’t know even know that’s counting on you. Give it more time. I know that’s what I’m doing… just slowly taking every day as it is even though its a war zone I have to fight through. Wanna be friends?
Jesus… you just don’t seem to get a break from bad things happening to you… i really wish you the best of lucks (even if it isn’t much help) in whatever you decide to do… and that’s the problem with pacts… seen several fail in not much time here on sp.
This is the thing that pisses me off. In the stupid wards they treat you like your crazy, instead they should treat you NORMAL. They can’t make you normal by reminding you every second you’re crazy. But honestly, you’re not crazy. You’re only in a crazy situation. My heart goes out to you.
@timr51
I’m only 25, and Ive been completely secluded from human contact for 7 years, only going out to work and going to the gas station at like 3:00 am to buy my weekly refill of food. Ive been depressed since I was 15, hoping for life to get better (P.S. It doesn’t). I dropped out of high school at 16. I don’t have any courage or charisma so there’s no way I’ll be able to date anyone or stay friends with someone. What do I have to look forward to? What are you expecting to happen to me? A sudden miracle from god that fixes all my problems? Someone suddenly appearing at my doorstep and telling me they want to help me? At this point, all I’m doing is waiting to die. There’s no hope for me, I might as well be dead.
Its God telling you that you belong here.
He won’t promise not suffering, but it does mean you have a future you cannot see yet.
I have learned this myself.
Please don’t tell me about god. If all I had to do was pray for my life to get better, I wouldn’t be depressed. Please don’t give me the god excuse.
maybe you arent praying as you should.
Maybe you suffer as you do to the exteent you do because you dont want to accept the “god excuse”
But, you have that right.
Good luck to you.
Yeah, good luck with that.
@Keief: What do you mean you’ve seen several fail while on SP??
@thegirl8: I agree.
@PBSmurderer: I so hear you.
@Wifeisgone: You absolutely shock me. I’ve been witnessing behavior like yours my whole life, and I never get used to it. You must believe you are doing something “good.” Just shocking.
@EK2020: i meant i’ve seen several suicide pacts fail, here on sp and on other places (local newspaper or tv), it’s not so uncommon for one to change their mind and try to save the other one (asumming they are two people)
@keief There were 6.
@Pbsmurderer Get ur diploma, finish the rest of ur high school years. Theres nothing wrong with it, that’s a start? Well… idk what will happen to you… but theres something that’s gonna happen because you failed 3 times at suicide. To me, something is telling you something. I feel it too…. just be dead… sleep forever…. no one else knows of my suffering except ppl like you on here. Be the change in your life…. I’m 19 and its rough so far… idk how you made it to 25 but good job. Wanna talk some way privately?
what kind of suicide pacts were these??? is it bad that im looking for someone on here to go sky diving to end our pain? i regret so many things i did since the age of 14. i cant go on anymore , i turn 20 next week and i dont want to because i havent got shit to show for it.
FLwaterguy99 (at) gmail (dot) com.
I am in Florida.
@timr51 Easier said than done. How’s a shut in like me supposed to suddenly get the motivation to go outside, let alone go to school. Did I mention I lost my job after a failed suicide attempt, now I’m a 25 year jobless depressed loser with no motivation to live. The only way I could change my life would be a sudden miracle from god, and I’m an Athiest so…….
i can understand what ur prob is, but there r so many solutions for ur problems, dnt give up ur life.
every bad days will be followed by good days.
please go and mingle with everyone, enjoy with ur friends, spend time with ur loved ones.
u will feel better.
dnt lose hopes on ur life.
http://suicideproject.org/2014/01/may-join-a-suicide-pact/