I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Some call it a phase of life, others just a small crisis.
But I don’t know and I actually dont care.
I feel empty. Nothing excites me. I don’t have goals and no matter how much I search, I just feel that I will be put down.
Everything I do is put down. I got support, but what does that count? They wont be there forever.
I wonder, why was I born? I feel empty. Don’t feel joy actually and just waste my life.
I tried many times to kill myself, stabbing, hanging, drowning and even throw myself infront of a train or car.
I always hesitated.
The meaning of Life means to live it. But if my life keeps being empty, i wonder…
Why was I given life?
I am tired of it.
Tired of living a meaningless life where every day feels empty no matter how good it can be.
The void always is there.
So I think life itself is just actually a waste. Thats maybe my only opinion. I dont really feel anything else, I am envious of those who can express themselves freely and pure. I wish I could.
The only thing I can feel is Fear.
Fear of Failure.
And between Death and Failure…
I rather choose death…
I really don’t know.
All say I can find the answer myself, but how do I do it?
Is my answer in death?
Maybe I should try again.
But I don’t have the courage to do it. Neither am I in such despair. Those feelings are unknown to me
Help me
3 comments
You have expressed exactly what I think every day. I find it helps when I write out my frustrations whether it be journaling poetry or story writing. That’s my one positive strength that I have. What’s your strength?
In my experience on life, people who know the game is up don’t ask for help because they believe there is no hope for them. Unfortunately, in some circumstances it’s true.
Those who seek help can find any amount of improvement because they haven’t conceded. A lot of the time, it’s not all lost.
I can think of a lot more difficult things to do than exist. But that’s not enough for everyone.
Im impressed with you for seeking help. I know it cant be easy. truth is, ur taking the right steps. asking about what to do. get in contact with people you trust and feel them out on the subject. ( I know I say that easily-but if you can ask people you know that are around you-it could help a lot)