I’m Danielle, 16 years old and suicidal…
I guess it all started when I got bullied in primary school because of my weight and the people I used to hang out with. I was basically a tomboy, always wearing jeans or tracksuits, never skirts or dresses… I wasn’t the skinniest or prettiest of kids back then, but there was this one group of girls that would pick on me constantly… I was 10 and depressed… I was stupid enough to pick an all girls secondary school and got bullied there for being a tomboy. it was the beginning of year 8, and I woke up at 5 o’clock to straighten my hair, put make up on and wear a skirt. by this time I was going through many things, my mum and dad split up, my nan had died, and my aunt had cancer… walking into school that day I got looks of disgust and people were whispering things like ‘whore, slag, fake, who would date her’ etc… I felt like anything I did was wrong and that I shouldn’t be in the world anymore, which meant that I started cutting… at first it wasn’t deep, just little scratches that could have been done by my cat, but it got worse, I needed more pain, so that’s what I did… soon enough there were loads of cuts on my arms and thighs… I was bullied for the cuts and was called an attention seeker, and that I should go and cut deeper so I could die… so that’s what I did. I got home and no one was in so I went to the bathroom and got the razor… I realised that I wasn’t going to die by cutting myself, so I overdosed, but at the wrong time, my mum came up and found me surrounded by tablets, blood and my own tears… to say I was ashamed for my mum is an understatement… im still suicidal but haven’t tried to commit suicide for a while now… now I have a mentor and haven’t cut for a while now… but its hard, every day I fight the words my bullies say… sticks and stones will break my bones, and words hurt even harder.
Danielle xxx
18 comments
Danielle, people around us are like that, just let them speak anything, dont bother about them. i hope u have atleast a single friend.
if not think me as your friend. i will be ready to listen to your problems and understand u.
but dont kill yourself for the sake of others.
each person has got their own way and style, u be as u r now.
just forget about those people.
dont waste your life.
I have 2 friends but I don’t want to be a burden to them if you understand… its hard to listen to the things people say, so I feel like its my only option nowadays… thank you and I will think of you as a friend, but I wouldn’t want to put all my problems onto you when you could be doing something better if that makes any sense. thank you xxx
No girl don’t blast yourself all over here like that
Sorry nevermind but why are you posting pics of yourself? your gonna make other girls feel competeive and post some too,this is supposed to be a safe place
I didn’t know… i’m new to the site, sorry
Ah, where’s my manners. hello there Danielle, welcome aboard 🙂 Thank you for sharing your story, it saddens me that this carry on affects us especially during the most trying of times when we have lost loved ones.
I’m glad your attempt failed, for what it’s worth. I hope you can find solace on this site with other like minded people, myself included. Keep up your strong mentality and have hope for the future. Also, I called it primary school too. You from New Zealand?
Take care.
haha no im from England, I will try to keep a strong mentality, thank you very much
You’ll learn over time that razors may physically cut and hurt you, but the opinions and the words of others can do only as much damage as you let it. People can judge or label you but it’s up to you to believe them or not. When you walk through the hallway with your head held high and show indifference towards their irrelevant view on you, they won’t bother picking on you anymore. There’s a reason why they only pick on insecure people, it’s because they themselves are insecure and need constant reassurance by putting people down.
Hey Danielle, feel free to post pics if you want, lots of people do. There are no rules against it, and if it bothers anyone, that’s their own problem.
As for this being a ‘safe place’ – I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but this site is comprised of the same kind of people you would encounter anywhere else, with the exception being that they are all suicidal. Keep that in mind if you stick around. Nobody here is any better than they are anywhere else.
Anyway, in regards to your story, I hope you’ll be alright, hang in there, ok? People can be morons, if they insult you try to brush it off, don’t hurt yourself because of it. 🙁
Hmm disregard what Perfumepipes said, people can share their picture here if they want, the only time it’s thought of as a competition is when others feel threatened. But there is no need for that anyhow. It is a safe place for others to share who they are.
Anyway, yes keep that mentality and best of luck.
its ok, ive taken the image down… im all new to it so I don’t mind, I don’t want people to feel threatened in any way… may I ask how old you are? you don’t have to answer obviously, was just curious to know xx
This ‘sticks and stones’ phrase is utter bullshit: it would be true only if we were automatons with no feelings. There’s an ancient saying: the word is mightier than the sword, because once drawn the sword can be retracted; once a word is uttered, it can’t be taken back.
I am twenty years young, although I probably don’t look nor sound it. Hmm…not sure why people would feel threatened, take my avatar for example, but cèst la vie, I suppose.
im sorry I what ‘cest la vie’ means x_x
en Franćais, it means “that is life.”
Why’d you ask for my age?
because you look younger to me, about 18/19 so I wanted to check
Okay, uh…thanks, I guess? I’m usually mistaken for being older.
friends r d ones who wil b ready to listen to what u say.
so i dint think that would b a burden at all.
if u wish to share u can or else thats ok.
but i hope u r fine now.
i wish u to fine and happy. 🙂