why I want to die

Though i won’t dismiss it, i remain skeptical of the true intention behind allowing such information to be disseminated to the general public. Maybe what is actually happening, is that they are trying to scare us into submission, so that we will allow them to create even more unjust laws, to give them “legal authority” to do as they please.

That said; i do appreciate the notion of living a principled life, and, if necessary, dying for the /right/ principles… should the option to live for them, be removed.

However… a “real man” Lives for something, rather than Dying for it. A dead man is no use to anyone. A compromised man can still do some good, even if he has to go against his own principles to survive long enough to do the good he still can, for others.

Facing and surviving the externally-imposed compromise of one’s own principles, is real courage.

I used to be a “real man,” but now i’m compromised. I cannot live my own life. All i can do is try to communicate the importance of living for and by the right principles, to others… and i’m not even significantly effective in that regard. I’m getting tired of being so courageous… but it’s not in my genes to submit.

And so… it’s not that i want, or have to kill myself, because i’m depressed…

It’s that i’m depressed because i have to kill myself, even though i don’t want to… because my life is ruined in ways i cannot repair or ignore, and don’t want to continue experiencing.

I want to fix the problems, but i can’t. I want to fix being unable to fix the problems, but i can’t fix that either. I want to not be forced to feel the ways i do, day in, day out… but that is an inevitable requirement of my existence, and i gain nothing at all, in return for enduring that pain… except the chance to experience even more gainless pains, throughout each new, but identically tormented day.

So back on topic, regarding the OP: i hope the gov’t gets dismantled, and those remaining are able to build something better in its place. But i tend to think that won’t be the outcome. It’s more likely to be mass-genocide, and end up reinforcing all the bad things the gov’t already does, while facilitating even more of it, and being used as false justification to excuse whatever heinous acts ensue.