I am screwing up my life for no reason. I just feel like the way I was living was not getting me anywhere, so I decided to drop college and live my life on the road. But I am so fucking scared. I need someone to do this with me. Because if I continue living this life, in which I have to be always high to get trough a day, I will go mad. My life right now doesn’t make me wanna do better. I don’t need happiness. In fact, I kinda want to be miserable, because I am too scared that I really messed up when I took my desicions. It’s’like I can blame it on the fact I am not happy right now, and that’s’why I decided to drop school. But the real reason is because I don’t think I want to live anymore. Like I don’t want to die, but I can’t live like that anymore. So I have to change drastically everything and hope it was right for me. Am I the only one doing this right now? I feel very lonely in all this.
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3 comments
I dropped school but don’t have the guts to get up and go for some reason. Probably because I don’t have a car or a license. But why not just walk everywhere? Steal a horse and ride like the wind. I swear I was meant to be born in the Middle Ages or something
Is that why you were looking for a life buddy? I don’t live in Canada, sadly. Otherwise we could have been friends and lived on the road in a VW Camper Van.
You will find somebody and I can understand why you want to mix things up. It only works if you are happy with yourself.
When things don’t work anymore is normal looking for a drastic change, be it in scenery, life habits, hobbies, or everything, you name it. Sometimes it’s the only thing that can get you out of that downward spiral (don’t know how else to name it), and it’s a risky move to make, but better taking a risk than doing nothing.
Guess what i’m trying to say is no, you’re not alone in wanting to take that chance. The only thing keeping me from doing it myself is that all the places that i could go to would be the same, i’d have to leave my country to start anew and sadly that’s not an option for me atm.