I’m weak. I’m so very very weak and scared and just… useless.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m too mch of a coward for anything and I’m just stuck unable to move either forward or back.
My self esteem right now is at a point where I can’t see any road that wouldn’t lead to failure. I can’t do anything, I have no more strength to persevere. I’ve tried and tried and tried and all I am is a failure and I can’t pretend I’m strong and can’t force myself to be optimistic anymore.
I’ve always run away from anything hard by burying myself in books or TV shows or just generally the internet, but every moment I’m not hiding in a fantasy there are only thoughts of hopelessness. If I don’t think about it too long that’s all it remains, but my parents keep trying to get me to look for solutions, to start moving past this and all it does is bring me out of my self-delusion and into this hole of misery with no way out.