I’ve recently moved to a new place, in a new state, away from all of my precious people. I can no longer afford my depression medication, and that, combined with the loneliness, anxiety, and feelings of unworthiness are pushing me to a point I’ve never experienced before.
It hurt so intensely earlier today that I cut my thighs to bloody ribbons, but not even that helped ease my pain. I can’t go back home, because to do so would only add a financial burden onto my family’s already burdened shoulders.
I know I can’t kill myself yet, but I’m afraid. I’m thinking of it more and more, and knowing that I’m prone to bouts of mindlessness, I’m worried one day I may wind up doing something irreversible on a whim. I don’t know what to do anymore. I no longer have anyone I can talk to.
2 comments
Well I’m no therapist but I think you should approach things logically. If you are unable to financially support yourself then you should either stay with family or someone you trust until you have a good income. That will also reduce some of the psychological issues you’re experiencing.
I’ve also experienced anxiety and depression in my life-very intensely but never thought of self-harm to cope. You should also put things in perspective-if there are people you can count on then it’s not the end of the world. Also I’m sure there’s social programs out there for people like you.
Cutting yourself is not helpful-you could cause serious damage and be in a far worse place than you’re in now. If you plan to work/have a job then you don’t want employers knowing about such things, they either won’t hire you or if you’re working, they could consider letting you go.
Hello there. Are you sure your family can’t help you support your costs? Or do you feel too much of a burden to ask? I know the latter can be as difficult for a person with depression as the former, but it might be something worth concidering, if you haven’t already. It might also help you feel les lonely.