Ive been in this bed for almost a year. I cant seem to make myself go outside and be a normal person and have a life. Almost every day I think about killing myself since i am a burden to my family and boyfriend. I am unmotivated and have social anxiety i dont know what to do with my life or even know where to start. The George Washington bridge all ways seems to be calling to me and the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge is the fear of what if i survive and making everyone i care about sad. having people who give a shit about me should make me feel better, should make me feel less sucidal, but it doesnt. I cant help to think what the fuck is wrong witb me. I cant even think about going to a job interview without freaking out, how am i suppose to live life for the rest of the time i have it.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
You know, that it’s funny I feel the same way. I think that I’m a burden on my family & maybe if I just disappeared, their life would somehow be simpler. They’re going through a rough patch. Knowing I would never get away with suicide, I tried to extract myself from their lives. Big mistake. I had a huge fight with my big sister because she said I was avoiding her. I thought she would be happy, but she was angry which confused me. For a week, I was upset, wondering why she lashed out at me for trying to make her life less stressful. That’s when I realized that she was actually hurt by my actions & blamed herself. For a brief moment, she felt like me.
Now, I assure you, I didn’t reply just to vent, I just wanted to share the words my daddy shared with me.
He said that I am his daughter and he loves me. Anything that I need, he’s going to provide for me whether it’s easy or not.
The moral is, some people feel like they’re not good enough of that they don’t belong. That’s hardly true. What they lack is self-confidence. You are important and you’re not a burden. Your family and your boyfriend love you no matter if sometimes it seems they don’t show it. Really, there is only one person that doesn’t love you right now.
That person is you.
Thanks i needed that. I need to work on loving myself. its just diffuclt to do when all my life ive been told im useless and evil. but im going to try positive thinking, and try to put myself out in the world. if you ever wanna vent or anythng im here to listen. 🙂