Okay, let’s see.. my story sucks a lot.. my name is Hannah and I’m 14, but it all started when I was 6.. when I was 6 my mom got married to my step dad, he had 2 sons, one was 13, when they moved in the one who was 13 started doing things with me.. I didn’t understand it then.. but he was sexually harassing me.. he was touching me in places and getting me to take my clothes off for him.. when I turned 8 we moved and it stopped.. but I felt odd around him.. I just didn’t feel safe.. when I turned 12 we finally moved again and left him behind.. I didn’t remember anything that happened when I was younger.. it’s like every memory of him just got buried deep down where I’d never find it.. but then when I was 13 my mom told me he was coming to visit.. it hit me like a rock.. every memory came back.. he was going to be here again.. I felt unsafe.. I didn’t know what to do…… but then it came to me.. I could cut.. I could get rid of the pain.. I cut and it felt so good.. I felt safe again.. knowing that I had a razor to save me.. I did it again and again.. until I was covered in cuts.. but now.. everyday.. I see those scars.. and it reminds me of the things he did to me.. it reminds me of how much I hate myself for letting it happen.. it reminds me of why I want to die.. it reminds me of my life before we moved.. these scars are a part of me and so is my past.. but I wish I could just end it..
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7 comments
You were six and you said yourself you didn’t understand it..thats not something you should hate yourself for. What six year old would be able to handle that properly?
Im sorry that it happened but you shouldn’t place blame on yourself you weren’t the one at fault.
Im to blame because even after all this Tim’s.. I still can’t tell my parents or anyone what really happened.. this is the most I’ve said..
Oh my gosh. You are still just a child, like you were at 6. You poor angel, that is miserable. I’m sorry you’re having all these feelings and memories haunt you so vividly.
Have you told anyone about him? Does anyone know you cut or are suicidal?
I have therapy.. it doesn’t help at all.. just makes it worse..
Losing your innocence so young I know so well how it can mess with your head and completely screws your mind up , I made imaginary worlds to try get through it myself maybe not the best way but might be better than cutting yourself.
it was the only thing I could do.. it was all I knew that would help in some way..
Yes i have cut myself but not to hide my mental pain it was more to show off how tought i pretended to be to fit in.Burning myself i have scars all over my arm and burns all over just becos i thought i could get them to like me.Ive actually cut the words into my arms the other day , FREAK , i cut into my arm it bleeds and i peel the scabs nearly daily for the pain so i cant blame u i understand.