Dana-Christine Umanetz
“…I felt sad, because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something that nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.”
This is me I feel like this every day!
The last time I was on this site I was suffering with a sucidal mind and it’s come back. I just imagine the rafters and hanging off them. It’s like the thought of going to sleep and that feeling of relief because it’s the only time you feel like you don’t have to struggle. It’s like swimming in a cold dark pool and trying to stay up in the water but your tired and all you can do is not drown. That’s life not drowning. I reach out for spiritual help I pray to something any thing I beg for a miracle or things to change and they don’t they just seem to get worse.
My year this year I have lost everything. I’ve been battling a pill addiction to pain killers, cigerette and painful emotions like depression. I’ve spent a year virtually homeless , a year mentally very unwell, a year in a abusive relationship a year without work because of the other factors . Life has not been easy, I look around at everyone’s life especially family and they think I’m a loser. No home, no job, a drug addict an they don’t mind treated me like this by saying hurtful things to my mum.y mum likes to tell me too which is great! On top of all iris I have tried through rehabs and places to get well and keep falling down. I also fell pregnant to the abusive boyfriend who was obsessed with me and practically stalking me and i started to get well and look after the pregnancy and I lost the baby at ten weeks. When the babies heart stopped so did mine. That was that what kin of cruel god or universe would do this to me on top of every thing else it might seem like I’m suffering with self pity but after all this I want to die and I hope I have enough guts to get they fucken rope and hang myself cause that’s how bad I feel. I want to die an there is no hope y
1 comment
well, it can’t get worse than this. just take a pen and make plans. you are smart, with some bad choices in the past, but you already proved you are a fighter. .