Depressed and suicidal

Sweetheart you just haven”t met those people yet, the people who would understand how you feel. There are sooo many people out in this big world, and I know that is hard to see when your world is small. My world is small too, but I try to expand it everyday with whatever people I encounter. Because I have lived long enough to know that people are just people and everyone I see is fighting a battle I don’t know about, just like they don’t know about my battle. And my crying (because I wipe away the tears and press on) and my fear of people thinking I’m crazy (because I know somewhere somebody understands that…just like you understand that). They don’t know how I feel inside, and I don’t know how they feel inside. I don’t know what you are going through, but I can relate to hopeless. The man I loved more than anything (my mirror, my knight in shining armor, my soulmate) shot himself last summer. Most days I just wish he had shot me first, but then I think of what a hopeless state he must have been in. What could I have done different? What could I have said to make him hold on to just a little bit of hope? So now I focus that on other people. Not just you here on this site, but anyone I meet. I am purposefully kind because maybe, just maybe, something I say will make a difference in someones life (or just help them get through the day). I am sorry for your pain and if I could take it away I would. But all I can do is tell you what a beautiful and unique and helpful person you are. You may not even realized how you helped me just by sharing your words and letting me reach out. Shine your light, whatever light that may be and don’t let ANYTHING put it out. May God bless you!