it’s getting harder and harder to keep living

I’m sorry about what he did. It’s bad enough what he did to you but it’s tragic what he did to you and your baby. Your baby is depending on you to be there and I’m sure you’re doing the best you can do under the circumstances. I don’t wish your situation on anybody but perhaps his decision to leave may benefit you in the long run. It doesn’t seem like what he’s doing fits well with supporting a family. You deserve better than that… and I hope that, in the long run, you get that. In the meantime, keep doing the best you can do. As your baby grows up, you’ll see your efforts rewarded. Don’t let the actions of actions destroy who you are and what you’re capable of doing.