Well last night was defiantly an interesting one. But now I’m left with a difficult task. I could tell something was up with my boyfriend with the way he would hardly talk . I knew something was bugging him but what he told me I was not expecting to hear at all. for about the past two years me and my bf have been together everyone was really happy about it except for one person. My little sister she pretty much hates him and it hurts me cause most of the time I have to play referee when they are near each other. Hes been trying so hard to get along with her but she ain’t even giving him a chance. He told me that it was causing a lot of stress in our relationship and that he had thoughts about killing himself over it. He tried to confront her about ti last night when we got to my place but she wouldn’t even give him the time of day.
Thats pretty much part 1 of 2 of my problem.
Part 2 is much more difficult a few days ago I was dropping my little sister off at a Halloween party at one of her friends houses on the way there I looked over at her and I noticed quite a few nasty cuts on her upper thighs. I truly wanna confront her on that but I am nervous about spooking her. I had issues with cutting when I was around her age.
I can use some advice on both of these ???? Any help would be appreciated.
1 comment
First, as far as the cutting is concerned, and it is difficult at best, I would give your sister some indication that you are available and can be trusted to talk to about anything that is bothering her. Confronting her directly about the cutting will either enable her by giving her attention she might be trying to obtain inappropriately or cause her to mistrust you for intervening if she is cutting out of true distress and feels she has no one to trust. Be patient, watchful from a distance to protect her and allow her to bring it up. But then there is the other issue…
Your BF wants to end his life because your sister hates him? This does not compute, as they say. He should be concerned about YOU, not your sister’s feelings one way or another about him. And Is her cutting and fussing about him by any chance founded in jealousy? I know that sounds harsh but the math tells me there is something more here than meets the eye.
I’m not sounding very compassionate, I know. I just think that you have two people that are very close to you acting out in self-destructive ways and my gut tells me there is a connection. The most important person here is YOU. And I think that your BF’s attitude about your sister is hurtful to you. Sure, he can feel bad about her “hating” him and he can certainly try and make peace with her but his suicidal attitude is more or less telling you she is more important to him than you. And that is the wrong message.
I think that if you get to the bottom of his true feelings (and your sister’s) everything will become clear. I didn’t say easy, but clear. Then you can decide what outcome is best for you. I really hope things can be sorted out – you deserve so much better than to be bombarded with all this drama and clearly your sister needs someone to confide in if she is cutting.
Stay strong and take care of yourself first. I hope things settle out in a way that is ultimately good for you.
– peace