just dont know what to do anymore

i dont knkw what it is, from the age of 12 my whole life changed ive never liked myself. i have just split up with my boyfriend today. we was together for 2 years, wenr through alot together he made me feel wanted and loved, made me feel like there was actually good things to me. i thought everything was fine, we talked about having a baby, getting married how much we loved each other. we went on a mini break to devon to just be together without any one else, without work just to spend time together. i was happy.. he told me today that this is not what he wants, its all a rush for him and he wants to experience life and not want to hurt me by cheating. he told me he wants to see other girls and doesnt love me anymore. his been so horrible when all ive ever done is love him, tryed to be everything he has ever wanted. its killed me so much. as he was the only happiness ive had in a very long time, i gave up so much to be with him and i just feel worthless and no good. ive done my best to give him everything and make him happy and im not good enough. everytime we had argued he would say horrible thibgs to me and ive always for given him, i really dont know what to do as i do suffer with depression. i have hardly any friends to talk to because i put my all in him. he seems so happy to be leaving me and his made it so easy. i feel like i dont want to be here any more, i feel like everythings been taken from me. i do self harm but not as much as i used to when i was younger. i feel so angry with my self and hate myself. im so temped to just end my life but im scared if it doesnt work. i just dont know what to do anymore i cant cope with pain im a weak person and i hate it so much