I’m 36, I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts for years. I’ve attempted it a couple of times. I’ve been sinking back into depression again and I want to die. I have a son, who is the only reason I haven’t ended my life yet. I worry about him. He’s a cutter. My boyfriend and I are having problems. I think he’s cheating on me and last night we had a physical altercation. I’m badly bruised and sore today. In 2 years, he’s never done that. I don’t know why he is now. I have no one to talk to. I’ve thought about taking pills and driving my car into the lake. Any advice on a better way to do this?
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How old is your son? If your having probems with your boyfriend hitting on you then you might want to take break from that reltionship until he cools off. Or you could leave him completely >or you give him an altermatum>> you do thta to me again and I will be done with you and press charges. You have to let him know you wont put up with that.
If your really suicidal and have son you could consider finding somebody else to take care of him. Maybe a foster home. If you got him into a foster home somebody would watch over him whie you are dealing with your own issues and if you get better down the line you could get hi back.
If you put him up for adoption that is a different story. Once he is placed with family they will be his family permanently
Just ging you soe things to think about. If I were in your shoes I would get your son into foster care for now. Then work on your own issues. See a psychiatrist and see if you can turn things around for yourself.
Use the internet to find out about foster care agencies and make some steps to getting yourself some help.
My son is 14. I could leave him with family, but, they already think I’m not a good mom. I currently see a psychologist, but, it’s not helping. I’ve been in a mental hospital before too and it did not help. I’ve been on antidepressants with no luck. My problems are too big. I just can’t keep going anymore.
Ready_2_Die,
I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. Your son, obviously, is your first priority, and I have to agree with Uptown234 about exploring all options in regard to his well-being.
You also must take care of yourself as well. Being in an unhappy and/or abusive relationship will not benefit either you or your son. One thing I am sure of: Your son needs you and ending your life is certainly not best for him.
L4Y
Leave. And no one is worth offing yourself over. Sure, it gets bad, but I wouldn’t do it over another person… but that’s me and I have my own issues raising an ornery son as a single mom myself. As pathetic as I am though, I couldn’t let someone have that satisfaction, that I offed myself because of them. Although sometimes I do fantasize about leaving someone with the ultimate punctuation mark to my life sentence (I’m really not that important, but I’d like to think that it would leave a feeling of profound guilt sometimes or that people might actually care). If I did off myself and let someone know about it, I would totally have to screw with them, sick as that may be and they’d really deserve it (come to think of it, I can think of a few). That and as tender as I can be, an SOB would be lucky to be alive if he put his hands on me like that. I may feel like I worthless piece of shit a lot of the time, but that’s on me to allow myself to feel that way. That doesn’t give someone else the right to beat the crap out of me or out of you, assuming that’s how you feel a lot of the time and that’s what he did? Maybe he’s mad he got caught, or doesn’t want to end up like his dad? Or could he be using? Either way, whatever his issues may be, what an effing loser for him to do that to you. I’m guessing he probably knows your son is having issues as well? If so, what a selfish bastard. Now that is the epitome of a coward… a man that beats a single mom, who he knows has issues with son who cuts himself. If anyone in your situation should off themselves, hopefully it’s your “soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend”, dropping-the-soap-in-prison first. Sorry, and hope that tangent made sense… felt compelled to put my 2 cents in. Hope you’re feeling better today.
leave this fuckin’ guy!! holy shit it aint rocket science he fuckin hit you. LEAVE and take your son with you. call a suicide line many times they have resources within the community to aid and at least help your transition be a bit smoother. do it.