I was raped when I was 12, but nobody knows about it I tried telling my parents but I ended up telling them I had lied because I blammed someone for it, who wasn’t who did it, it was my grandpa who raped me and I can’t seem to bring myself into telling my parents because I know they won’t believe me and I would be judge but every day I wake up wishing I was dead praying for cancer or a brain tumor, I’ve tried suicide before but all it did was make people judge me and make me feel worst, I play happy I act like nothing’s wrong but right now in praying for a brain tumor or cancer somewhere in my body I pray for that every waking moment.
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Hi.
I know I shouldn’t and that it won’t help you, but I feel so sorry. I guess it’s hard to really understand your situation without having been in a similar one (which I haven’t, fortunately. I am diagnosed with trauma, though).
I like how you wrote the whole post in just one sentence, because I can sympathize with it so much. I guess there’s no way to really express your struggling in words. But I appreciate the step of telling your story here.
I guess people try to define (judge) you because they are helpless themselves, actually. It’s unjust, but human. You don’t deserve any of this, but that doesn’t make anything less true.
If you need to talk, just e-mail me (silver.berry10@googlemail.com). I’m German, I don’t know if you are. However, I’d be pleased.
I wish you so much. I really hope you’re going to find the courage to stand up for yourself one day and are able to face your parents with what happened. If they refuse to listen, they don’t deserve you.
Best Wishes, honestly,
-R.
With something as traumatic as that, I think it’s really important that you are able to tell someone what happened. If you don’t think you can tell your parents then you should definitely consider seeking a counselor. Good luck, I hope you are able to move past this.