To my beloved family and friends. I am sorry I have to do this, I hate myself for being so selfish. Please don’t miss me, don’t hurt. I made a decision, I can’t live in this cruel world anymore. You where all so great to me. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I’m weak, I can’t handle this. Please forgive me, or I will not be able to forgive my self. I will live on through you, in your hearts.
I’ve been cutting for a while now. I told no one, because I felt my reasons Where not good enough. I hate myself, I hate how I look, what I say. I’m sick of being a disappointment. I wish it was as easy as closing my eyes and never opening them again, but its not. I’ll be gone by the time you reach this note, but please know, I love you with all my. Heart.
I will always love you, forever. So don’t give up, don’t be weak like me. Make me proud to call you my mother, my father, my family my friends. I love you all. This is my fault and mine alone, I can’t cope with living In this dark pit that consumes me. The pain of hurting you hurts so much more than the pain of ending my life will, so please please please don’t give up.
Mum
You where always there, you made ME proud. You where the best mum I could ever wish for, and I’m sorry to have to do this. Please forgive me, I beg you. I love you, always remember that. I’m not dead, I will always be alive in your heart. Look after my brother, tell him I love him with all my heart. I didn’t deserve such a great mother, thank you for everything, thank you so. So much. Let me live on through you, I love you I’m so sorry. Xxxxxxxx
Dad
Thank you for. Everything, my childhood and my memories. I love you I really do and I’m so sorry that I’m leaving you but it’s for the best. You’ll be just fine with out me, just let me live on through you. I will never be able to say thank you enough for the love you’ve given me, xxxxxxxx
Friends
Thank you for being there for me all of you, I love you. I need this, I can’t cope with this never ending pit I keep falling deeper and deeper into. I need to get these weights from my shoulders, and sour into the sky. Please don’t forget me, I love you all.
This is farewell.i love you. I’m so sorry. So so so so sorry. Ive tried to cope for all of you, just don’t blame yourselves, because i swear, nothing could’ve saved me. Goodnight forever xxxxxxx
9 comments
Hello. I can feel the pain through your words. Don’t let go. I don’t know you, but I am holding you close to my heart and praying for you.
Things are difficult for you. I’ve read some of your previous posts and it seems like you’re in an uphill battle. In my e-mail inbox, I still have the e-mail that I sent at 3am during a dark night back in 2012. While yours and mine look different, the purpose was the same. I cc’d myself to make sure it went through. It did. It’s still there.
I keep it in my inbox as a reminder of what I’ve been through… and how I’m slowly but steadily moving ahead. I had been struggling for a long time… and I was mentally and physically drained. During my struggle, I gave my stuff away, got my affairs in order, and wrote up the e-mail.
What I didn’t do was reach out for help.
That’s the first thing I should have done… ahead of everything else. There is nothing worth taking your life for. If there is something wrong, it can be fixed. When there are challenges, they can often be addressed. No… Life won’t be perfect. The word ‘challenge’ wouldn’t exist if life was perfect. But it can get better. The thing is… You have to give it a chance.
You mention that you’ve told no one when it comes to cutting. Tell someone. Let them help you. It won’t happen overnight… but with some effort and time, it can slowly get brighter. I’ve seen the darkness… more than I’ve cared to have seen. There has also been light, too.
Let yourself see some light.
Distant.road took all the words that I was going to say. But don’t go. We want to help you and be there during your toughest time. ?
I hope you live and find another way to deal with your problems but if you do go away for good. I pray you go to a good place and have peace from whatever was ailing you in life.
you are not a disapointment
thats a lie
Help me get through this depression??
Depression can be an insidious thing, gradually wearing us down, I’m sorry you’re suffering with it as well Deleted.from.society, I have for years also. I believe what distant.road has said is right, reach out for help, talking to someone can make a difference, it’s the difference between turning around and starting on the road back, or continue wanting death, and you have an incentive to keep going, your family. Your post says, loud and clear, how much you love them and how much they love you, how can you be a disappointment to them with such love. So many believe they are a disappointment to their family but is that really the case, you should tell them how you feel, I’m sure they’ll tell you different. So please Deleted.from.society, try to keep going, please find the help you need, keep posting here, we care and want you to have a future.
Thank you.
i hope to see you again
Hi Deleted.from.society,
how are you doing now? Were you able to find a way to get out of the pain and feel peace