Do you ever feel like you have no reason for being. Almost like you were just left on earth to wonder why you have to live in the first place.
I mean I have tried to feel like everyone happy like things are simple, but WHY i mean I tried college I try to work hard and it almost seems people
go out of their way just to make you feel like shit. Then you find one thing to hold onto and it becomes toxic like helping family or friends. you put your heart and soul into trying to be level headed and peaceful for them and as time goes on you resent yourself for not having the courage to stand on your own. Then you think well i could end it but when the time comes you think well arent i already dead just a piece of meat frying in the sun and all the while you could just see how things would be better with you gone but i cant bring myself there its almost like a wall between me and the ether like some force demands i stay. Why theres that word again WHY,WHY,WHY its the one question i cant bring myself to answer like everyone else because the answer might be unsavory so i go on day after day question unanswered trapped in a cell of my own design and i dont know if my thoughts are mine or someone else’s but heres to another day in this world
CHEERS.
i am an unusual person taught myself to read before most others i know i have the ability to learn but i am afraid of people and sometimes i feel empty like some emotion that ought to be there just isnt but hope that you guys dont end it yet or else ill be the only one left alone with my fears