This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about this for a year. Cutting myself, taking pills, drinking, talking to guys, having sex. anything to end it. At the end of the day, no one will be here for me it’s only a matter of time. I can’t be here anymore, it’s selfish to my friends. I complain to them, they don’t give a shit. My life where I’m heading to I know will be better. I’m scared. I have nothing left for this life… But if you ever do miss me or think of me just listen to a song I will be there. Im thankful for the friends I had and have. I will always treasure our memories. Thanks for being part of my depressed life.
4 comments
are you there? i feel like dying tonight too.
You decided to write it here, which means that you still have a modicum of hope left. Life can turn around when you least expect it, and I know that loneliness doesn’t help matters at all.
I was a cutter when I was younger. Self destructive in a lot of ways, actually. You can get through it if you reach out for help. Sometimes people don’t come to you because they don’t realize how deeply you are drowning. If you need someone to talk to, there are people on here that would be more than willing to chat. They have helped me through a lot. Please, take care of yourself. Really, really think about this before you make a decision.
I understand because I want to go myself, but then I’m 41 years old and given life a chance and had a few interesting times on the way, even if it has led to this. I’d like to think that as a school kid you’d be curious enough about life to stick it out until college/uni where the people you meet will be more your type of people. I think you should have some fun and see some life before you write it off. Parties, bands, drugs, new towns, new friends for life. Reinvent yourself.
Thanks everyone for the positive feedback I appreciate it! π