God, both my parents are dropping not-so-subtle hints that they already want to retire…
My father had a myocardial infarction a few years ago and he’s still struggling to pay off the loan he took to pay for the medical bills, and on top of that he’s paying for his meds for diabetes monthly and sending my 2 younger siblings to college. He says he really wants to pay all the bills and just retire as soon as he can.
My mother is sick and tired of her abusive boss and unprofessional work environment. She only plans to stay 3 years tops to complete a 10-year company requirement so she’ll be able to get her separation pay and after that she’s saying she’s done and she wants to quit.
And I am still unemployed and have been for almost a year. I have a student loan debt, too. I’m just so confused and scrambling right now. I’ve been trying to find work and it’s like I can’t find work fast enough. But it’s all a BIG-ASS CONFLICT.
I took too long to finish a degree that I do not like and I do not excel in. After acquiring my license to practice I thought that my obligations to my parents were done. I graduated and finished the course they wanted for me and now it’s my chance to do what I want to do, and find a job I’m passionate about and am good at. I thought I would be able to use the past months to find out what that was but obviously I failed and all that time has gone to waste.
I learned that to qualify for a job you already have to HAVE that job i.e. if you want to apply as a web designer/writer/editor/secretary/executive assistant/game tester, you have to have at least 2years experience as a web designer/writer/editor/secretary/executive assistant/game tester. WELL, SHIT.
So from that I have concluded that to be able to qualify for a job, I guess I have to study another degree again. But of course, I cannot do that anymore since the remaining family funds is going to be used for the education of my younger siblings. And I am fucking pressed for time. I’ve wasted so much time already.
Now, I’m stuck with finding a job with my current degree. A job that I am not confident and comfortable in. I have no choice! And what pisses me off is that I’m now practically ready to BEG for that job, a job that I do not see myself doing happily for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’m even qualified for that job anymore since it’s been so long since I had the chance to practice my skills that I know jack-shit about it now. It’s all gone. My mind is blank. I’m rusty. I actually want to get that job but at the same time I’m dreading it, too. I’m terrified that if I do get the job, I’ll fuck up because I’m so incompetent and all over the place.
I swore to myself that I’ll find a job that’ll make me happy. I’ve seen enough of my parents being sad and unfulfilled at their jobs to want to follow in that path. But now, it seems that I’m going on a worse path, the path of total unemployment and pathetic uselessness.
I wanted to have a job that I love doing. I guess that’s too much to ask. I know now that I could never have that. Okay, I’ll let that go. Now, I just want to have a job, so that I can help my parents. But that seems to be denied to me too. What the actual fuck did I do to deserve this? I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to disappear, I can’t take this pressure anymore. I want this all to end, it’s pointless.
P.S. Sorry for the long rant. To anyone who read this, thanks very much for your time. Much appreciated…..
16 comments
love that song and looooove queen, of course. hehe. 🙂
So you are pissed off at your parents for wanting to retire? Dude, I have news for you… EVERYONE hates their job. Your parents don’t have to work until the moment they die just to make your life better. Everyone takes a job they don’t want at pay they think is too low because they need a job. You got a degree now use it – it does not matter if you like it.
Getting another degree is just delaying the inevitable, and you will wind up working for some annoying little overpaid shit that is 10 years younger than you who wants to grind you into the dirt because he got out of school and got the job. Get used to it. Life sucks. Work sucks. Every last minute of it. Just get a job – any job. Pay the bills, eat, sleep and work. That is all there is – get used to it. There is no grand moment where you find this fabulous job that makes you feel good. If you think that really happens, you have been watching too much television.
I’m not pissed at my parents at all. And I don’t want them to work until the day they die to make my life better. Actually, I want to help them pay the bills. And I’m embarrassed that I’m not able to contribute anything to the family. That’s why I’m feeling pressured, because I realize that it’s time for me to take on their roles and responsibilities, to take that burden away from them now that I have my degree.
I just thought that I could do that while being good at my job and at least, liking it. But, I agree with you that everyone seems to hate their jobs; that’s what I’ve learned. now. But the problem is that I see some people actually being able to pull that happy-at-my-job-earning-well thing off. That’s what made me hopeful that maybe I can have that for myself.
It takes years to make a decent wage after you get out of college – because you start at the bottom. Just take the crap job and prove yourself to be valuable. That is all there is.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post and share your thoughts. I guess I’ll just have to endure everything. But as Julius Caesar said: “It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.”
I did read this thru. Have no advice though. :/ hope it works out.
Thanks for reading. I do hope it works out, too. 🙁
+10 points for using the term myocardial infarction instead of heart attack
why, thank you, killswitchon. *curtsy*
+5 for curtsying…ur already at 15. ur doing quite well. *bowing*
i’m grateful for what i’ve been given and will now quit while i’m ahead. haha.
I read your post and don’t really have any advice… Well anything i wanted to say has prob already been said here
Wow we seriously need to talk because I am having such similar problems with my fucking degree and job prospects. I feel the same way and feel completely stuck and I’m freaking out and wasting time and reaching dead ends in every direction.
tell me everything, damnstraight.maybe if we put our heads together we just might come up with solutions to our problems, aside from offing ourselves.
or if not, then i will be glad for the chance to return the favor of listening to your woes.
Hey, damnstraight, as someone with no degree but has worked his way up the ladder, I’ll tell you to take a job in a field you want to excel in. Even at the lower level. You will soon see how much more capable you are than your peers there. your managers will see it too and you’ll shoot up the ladder quick. I’m always looking for someone, however my field isn’t one eligible. You might be surprised how valuable someone is simply because they show up to work and are reliable when tasked with assignments.
hello, joeythegreat.thanks for your helpful suggestion.if you don’t mind me asking what would make you hire a person who studied a degree which is miles away from the current industry/job-type that that person is applying for?i genuinely want to know…
because like you said, i have been trying to apply for jobs both in and out of my field of study, but usually i encounter ads that have very specific degree specifications for jobs. for example, i wanted to apply for writer/editor jobs but it’s always specified that the candidate must have a degree in journalism and experience in that area or when i applied for hr assistant jobs the requirements say to have a degree in business ad, or psychology or experience in those fields and of course I don’t have all that….so i guess i’m also asking is there really a chance for me to get hired for those jobs without being qualified if i do really well in the interview? i mean have you ever hired someone for a job that completely did not meet the requirements in your ad but showed up anyway and then did so well in the interview that you were convinced to hire that person despite that person’s not meeting the requirements? i would greatly appreciate an answer from you. thanks so much in advance.