Life is cold, I feel alone, even when surrounded by people, I feel like I’m in a different world than them. That I can’t ever have anyone in my life. I’ve been through a lot, went from being a sexually abused boy, to testifying against my father at age 7, lost my family in the process, and now find myself alone. Albeit now I’m a prosecutor now thinking that asking questions in court rather than being asked them would somehow make life ok. I now find myself weary from constantly seeing people at their worst, and dealing with criminals and trying to find justice. However I find there to be very little in life. This year I’ve so far kept my resolution to not kill myself (been seeing therapists and trying to get better). I find myself now with the year over, asking myself can I endure another year of this. Why should I, it’s so cold out, and there is so little warmth in life. I’d like to have something to carry on for, but don’t see it. Life seems so hard, and demanding, yet offers so little in return until one day it’s not worth it anymore, the last glimmer of warmth, of hope slips away and you’re just cold.
2 comments
That’s an awful thing to have happen. I hope you find a way to find that warmth, that hope, the reasons you need to find life worthwhile again.
It’s easy to take that view of life when you have experienced and seen what you have seen. I can understand and empathise completely with how you feel…but fat lot of good that does. I don’t know how you can change that viewpoint of life…if I knew I would have done it for me but I see life the same way you do. With events even as little as a month ago when I was yet again robbed (for the 5th time by a so called friend) I doubt I ever will feel any different. Why so many people relish being arse wipes is beyond me but it’s now in plague proportions me thinks.