Hey All

Just a quick post. My life sucks. I’m very suicidal am saving up to end my life maybe two months from now. But to save I have to give up tobacco which is going to be tough and kurb the alcohol. I’m schizophrenic and depressed and whenever I get meds for depression they work but aggregates my schizophrenia which totally suck because other than that the meds work OK. I get bored easily too which I can’t find work and dread working so my life sucks. I have been a hard worker most my life until I got my illness a few years ago. I doubt anyone would be able to talk me out of suicide. I’m a lost cause and like heck I’m going to get punished by voices and depression all my life. Never would I ever have thought I would of ended up in the situation I’m in. I live with my mum and stay in my room most days. I have tried working in other fields but get bored easily and give up. I get so excited then give up. Life is tough. I know how I’m going to end my life. I have no friends either its just going to be tough on my mum forking out for a funeral. It will be cheaper if I don’t have a burial which she will hate. Schizophrenia combined with depression is such a recipe for disaster my shrink always asks me if I’m suicidal because there’s a good chance my illness will cause it. What can I do. Maybe I should save up for my own funeral and not make it so tough on my mum but my illness is very serious and she just doesn’t understand it. I’ve been suicidal for a while now but didn’t realise the seriousness of it until now. I don’t care if people will miss me I just don’t want to leave a big funeral bill for my mum to pay out. Well yeah that’s me and words from anyone would help..