I’m nearly 30 years old. I’m in a long-term relationship with a live-in partner. We live in an apartment in a house. I work from home and because of this I basically work 24/7. My partner works as a delivery man but only works about 5 hours a day. His hand is broken from punching a wall when he was angry. He uses his broken hand as his newest excuse to be lazy.
There’s a lot of resentment. He spends most of his money on marijuana. This is a daily occurrence. Any attempt to discuss this issue is met with fighting, me being to blame as always. His dealer is his sister. She’s in her mid thirties, doesn’t work, smokes weed 24/7 and has her mother and the government pay her bills. She’s an awful person who only cares about herself and because of this she’s no longer welcome in my life.
He spent less on an engagement ring for me than he spends on marijuana in a month.
I try my best to keep up with everything. I work, I clean, I cook. I basically do everything. He works 5 hours a day and considers himself entitled to do whatever he wants which includes not cleaning or contributing to the household at all.
His car is falling apart. It’s currently the only way for him to earn any income so if it stops running, we will be worse off than we already are. He refuses to apply for work in his field. He seems to prefer earning very little money working with people who are barely out of their teenage years. I think because mentally he has yet to mature past his teenage years as well.
I want to have children. This will never happen. At least not until I no longer want to have them because I’ll be too old. He refuses to do anything to make the situation better, but I try to do all that I can. We couldn’t afford to do anything for our anniversary this year but yet he could still afford to spend $40 on marijuana the day afterward.
I’m not quite suicidal, but I’m beyond depressed. I feel helpless and taken for granted by a grown man who insists on acting like a baby. I’m not allowed to talk about my issues to anyone or he gets mad because he says I’m “embarrassing him” because apparently he’s embarrassed by the truth.
I can’t afford to leave but I don’t want to stay with him anymore because I truly feel like I’m wasting my life with him, and that he will never change, because he wants to spend his life acting like a child with his sister.
That’s all.
6 comments
You are a strong person!!! Just leave him and you will be able to accomplish alot more without him weighing you down. He either can get with program or kick rocks!!
The dude is obviously a lowlife and he’s only going to take you down with him. You are also being his enabler by taking care of the shit he refuses to do. As any sensible person will tell you-you need to ‘kick him to the curb.’ Seriously he needs to wise up or get out of your life.
It’s been my experience that people don’t change-so you’d actually be better off without him. He’s using you to be a lazy fuck who just does nothing with his life aside from smoking weed…he is the poster-boy of a reject and a loser. No one can make this change for you-only you can, you need to summon your courage and take action. It’ll be difficult but you’ll be very happy you did after.
I’ve tolerated rotten scumbags in my life in the past-they did nothing but destroy my relationships and once I got rid of them, things were much better for me. It is better to be alone that with someone who is basically your enemy.
Secondlife is right. I thank my stars I’m alone now when I look back and remember the reality of past ‘relationships’ without the rose-coloured glasses. T’was the very hell itself. Being alone isn’t fun but one has at least one’s pride and integrity without some asshole dragging us into the gutter. I hope you can find your way to freedom op.
They’re both right. Move on with you’re life find a new man and have children. Its all in the mind. Do you really want to take carebof his shit or be in more debt when his sorry ass car breaks down.
Shizer! I can’t get a woman to stay when I do everything but pre-chew her food! How thee *Hell* does some walking, talking piece of garbage like *that* guy get a girlfriend and I’m still single? fml <.<
Lolol shalkar…sorry you’re getting no luck in the love department. You’ve got a good way with words…brought a wan wintry smile to my face anyway.