ll of my life I’ve been abused and I’m now 37 and it still keeps coming, as a child I was neglected and underfed by my parents who also knowinly sent me to my grandfathers house where I was sexually assaulted constantly and raped by him and his friend, I cried out and nobody believed me and I kept getting sent back to him,
all through my adult life I’ve been abused by various girlfriends and again nobody believed me and now for the last 4 years its been happening again, I’ve been kept locked away in a house with a crazy woman who beat me up, pulled knives on me, and even forced me into sex against my will, if I didn’t do what she said id get punished severely, she called me gay because I was raped as a child, she has forced me to go without food and stopped me from having any contact with anyone
now she has ran away and took everything from me, I’m scared to leave the house and can’t communicate with anyone! I’ve forgotten how to be normal and I’m so confused my future I cant see but my past haunts me, I can’t take no more pain and lonliness, I have nothing left not even my personality, the reason I’m doing it at 1am is that is the time I was born so I shall leave at that moment too, I have no friends to say goodbye to and no family who care, I just wanted to tell someone so its off my chest before I end my life in 1hr 50mins time thanks for your tine. James.
6 comments
What to say… I am not the one to stop you… not that I wish to see you disappear but because I am the one who can change your mind. That is only possible by yourself… If you do change your mind one tip try to seek revenge against your family in a legal manner.
Also try to be independent. Go to talk groups for abused people and talk with people with whom your might be able to relate better.
And learn to tolerate less… do this in the way that nothing or no one can control you. Try to be truly independent.
Incase you do not change your mind… make sure that the method you are going to use is fail safe. Maybe leave a note or send an automated email to someone so that your body is found as you do not know when it is going to be found.
I hope you will find peace. I think all of us here search exactly for this.
You can check yourself into the ER. They will take care of you, keep you safe, and help you set up supports. There are people who want to help. Please let them try.
I’ve been there already and the system failed me on multiple times.
Its done
James man, I don’t know what to say. I was adopted young and abused before that. Neglected, etc etc. I deal with depression that stems from a deep PTSD and it really sucks.. I really have no words, but I will say that if you leave, I will be very very saddened.. I’m not the one to stop you, but I will say, if you decide to leave, I will miss you, and I hope you have a safe journey, wherever we go <3
This hits close to home for me, minus the sexual abuse (although I was physically and verbally abused), so I’m just going to wish you luck. If your life has been anything like mine or worse, I can fully understand why you’re doing this. People seem to have an infallible sense for the weaknesses of others and know just how (and who) to exploit them. The slightest lack of confidence and you can expect to be dumped on forever.
Hope to be joining you soon, James.