I haven’t experienced this dark feeling ever. I had everything, I was an amazing person who was loved by everyone but what is the benefit of getting love when you are nothing when it comes to prove your identity.
Am jobless and this is the peer pressure which is killing me. Everyone is laughing on me, my parents are also suffering because of me. I don’t want to die but I see this is the only solution of this never ending embarrassment. The moment when you are scared to pick your friends call, knowing that how pity they would feel on you is killing. I feel scared to pick unknown numbers. I want to be in dark so that no one could ever see or talk about my failures. My relatives are talking behind me, they are laughing on my parents and my decision of opting this stream of studies. I feel scared of their look. I cant see into their eyes.
It is not ending. How long can I hide, this thought makes me feel suicidal. I feel suicidal every moment, sitting alone and feeling nothingness.
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After university I couldn’t find a job in my field, so I took a lower level one, just to have a job-did that for 4 years. Then I really got fed up of it and left-I tried to start a business-found some success, but soon after it failed. Then I went through a long period of time without working. I was still trying to become self-employed but I wasn’t waking up to the fact that everything I was trying was failing.
At the time I didn’t realize the things people were saying about me behind me back. I didn’t realize I had destroyed my respect and good reputation with many people. Finally I started working again-I suffered a great deal before I got my next job (because of being unemployed), but I learned a lot over that time. Still people talk shit about me-since I’m in another lower level position.
I’ve had a number of arguments and had to set people straight including my friends. I’ve had to let some go because of their insolence and belligerence. My point is-don’t let your friends and family get to you. Sounds like you have an Asian bkgd, so I know in your culture it’s even more of an embarrassment if you don’t have a good education and high level job.
Like I said-don’t let them get to you, they’re scumbags. Stay focused on your goal and you will find a job…take a lower one if you have to. I’m now trying to find a better one, but it’s difficult, however I’m going to keep at it. Don’t let people get to you-something I had to learn myself.
My weakness is that I don’t have a significant other-even my loser friends have girlfriends. But then I have high standards so it’s hard for me to date ‘below’ who I think I deserve…yet like that song, my loneliness is killing me. Plus I don’t get out and socialize like I used to, so it makes it harder, but I’m hanging in there, hoping things will change.
I am Indian, and to indians, reputation and society matters a lot. Being a daughter i have to take care of lot of things. Its not my parents who are getting on me but the whole society. Everyone is questioning and it is very embarrassing to hold on say that am not campus placed. Am not jobless, no one will like talking to me and will see me inferior.
My failure is getting on my nerves.
Well thank you so much for understanding and giving wise advice but To you i would like to say that give yourself a time, you seem to be warrior who passed this time of being jobless with so much of spirit and patience, your perfect girl will come on time, every person gets his or her one day, talk to people who care and you have to be social. there is no life without being social, this is today’s demand. Things will change soon. You made me positive. 🙂
i know for indians society and culture is the most important 🙂 i too am jobless for 5 months now i feel depressed and suicidal everyday i have no idea what to do in my life now 🙁 main thora hindo bol saktha hu :p
Oh this sounds cool.. seeing that tum hindi bol sakte ho.. we both are on same boat.. its hard to survive being jobless. Peer pressure is the biggest pressure.
yea i know being jobless is really tough it makes me feel suicidal every moment 🙁 how long have u been jobless?
Its been 5 months now. Bloody 5 months
mine too 🙁 its soo hard if you feel you can chat my emails rajbrown5 @ gmail.com its depressing and chatting with a friend will help sharing pain 🙂