What if I did it. Right now. It would be so fucking easy. Nothing eloquent this time, just a myriad of pain and an option out tonight. Why can’t I be the one this time. I will write my own ended for a story that was never my own.
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The story isn’t what you think. You want control and think you don’t have it. Giving up isn’t the answer. That is the depression, hurts and pain having control. You have control if you keep going- I have dealt with depression and suicidal feelings since I was 19 and it has been a looooong haul. But if I die by my own hand, my last feelings will be of pain. I don’t want that. I want to give myself the chance at a better tomorrow. Only way to do that is keep one foot in front of the other and look for some kind of better way.
You can do it too. Keep writing, getting it out of your head is good !