I don’t know what I’ve done to be exiled by all of my friends. I’ve been home a week. I haven’t been home in my house over 24 hours straight in a few years, I’m always out doing stuff with them. This is the third time this has happened in the last 10 fucking days I’ve been home. My best friend straight up ditches me day after day and then tries to blame it on me, making up stupid validations or excuses, and somehow I’m the one at fault. My other friend begs me to hang out with her because she’s bored, yet never calls me back or answers my text because she hangs out with my best friend as soon as she got off work today, why bother with her “back up plan” of hanging out with me? My other friend never feels like picking me up since my license is still revoked for the next 21 days, but he’d always come pick my best friend up when she didn’t have gas. Is my DUI the worst thing I could have done, considering I wanted to go back to my dorm after I was cheated on and felt unwelcomed, and didn’t want to spend the night at his house anymore? This friend got caught with MDMA in his car and is also facing probation. My other friend at least hits me up to hang out after they finish dinner, but it’s been 3 hours and she’s liked my instagram picture I posted earlier in the day, yet hasn’t responded to my text asking if she finished dinner yet. My ex clearly used me to have a place to stay after his hotel got cancelled when he drove 5 hours to NYC to go to EDC, didn’t even want to come see me when I went down to where we go to school and he lives for court a few days after he stayed at my house. I explained to him why I was so hurt over everything and spiteful, and it makes sense in my eyes, but maybe he didn’t care enough in the first place. My other best friend who went to prom with me just a year ago, still hasn’t seen me since I’ve been back, nor does he really know anything about my DUI because I haven’t told him. He’s denied each time I tried to hang out with him, which I blame on him having a really bad comedown on MDMA that lasted 5 days, but now that he’s better, he still hasn’t hit me up.
I’m stopping my medications cold turkey and will figure out a way to fatally end it, no “attempting” bullshit. All or nothing. I don’t have the energy or willpower to explain more than I have in this post.
13 comments
They’re not being good people. Just exile them as well.
Please don’t stop you’re medication. And don’t end it.
What’s the point?
Things will get better eventually. You have to give it time.
They did get better and for no fucking reason I’m back where I started… No I’m worse. I was young and stupid then, now I’m older and since history repeats itself and with the knowledge I’ve gained over the years, for me, it is not worth it. I will never live a happy life.
You explained yourself perfectly. Even if I still had friends, they wouldn’t miss me when I’m gone. It’s only nature for humans to move on anyway. I could tell you that you can always find other friends or work even harder to keep the ones you have, but what’s the point when you’re always going to be *alone* once it’s all finished?! No matter how much effort you put into them and the help that you afford them all.
Sorry you were cheated on. At least you weren’t married like me.
You won’t have to worry about any DUI on the other side, so I’ll shout you a drink if I see ya.
It just hurts. I originally was exiled by my friends when I was 14 and spent 2 years in depression and isolation with no friends at all. It was turned around by my best friend introducing me to all her other friends and her and I being inseparable. Now suddenly everything’s changed and I don’t know what I’ve done, but it’s not easy for me to make friends.
Yeah being cheated on sucks, it’s pathetic I would go back to him in a heartbeat and give him the capacity to make me the happiest person ever in a minute.
being cheated on is probably the worst pain ever and they always find a way to make you feel like its your fault. i can sympathize though all but two of the people i considered friends pretty much act like i dont exist anymore.
It was comforting to think I was good enough for my friends at home who love me (I was at school during this time). Now I have nobody.
Wish you wouldn’t be able to sympathize with me or understand it. Saddening.
im sure theres atleast one person either at your home or at your school that you could spend time with. i think some people tend to turn their backs on you when youre in your darkest moments. almost like they cant be bothered with your negativity or sadness.
I have my friend Miranda. She’s been my really good friend for years but we’ve distanced because she’ll drop you for her boyfriend realllll quick, which is exactly what she did yesterday. I mean I understand it and everything but she needs to learn like moderation between friends and boyfriend. We had plans and she peaced out realllll quick once her boyfriend answered.
if they just started dating maybe its just like a honeymoon phase and things will go back to normal after alittle while
It’s been like this with all her boyfriends over the past like 4 years and this current one she’s been with for a while anyway. It’s just how she is.
true. some people just get really attached. i can admit to being too clingy in the past.