I should die

I hear you… It’s a sickness that you need that affection from someone…. But from what I gather, if he was willing to marry you, he might take you back… Sleeping with 1 person is a huge mistake and it will take ages for him to trust you again, but you have to show your calm unwavering love… Wait outside his place after work with some shopping bags of food and say you want to cook him dinner and then you will go, probably he will tell you to fuck off, but keep going through the humiliation and show him that you’re committed and take any insults, hopefully after he has humiliated you enough, the way you have done to him, maybe in time he will forgive you, but be persistent and don’t make public scenes, he won’t like that either, just keep a calm persistence and show him you are still completely committed no matter how many times he pushes you away… You will just have to see if that’s enough… But it’s the least you owe him I think and maybe you will also have a bit more peace in your heart…