A while ago I made the commitment to myself that if I can not change my state of mind, my hate of myself, and find the release needed to deal with this pain… I would get what I always wanted for my birthday.
Have been working really hard at being mindful of my thoughts. Why I feel that way, what causes it, and who is the biggest influence in my life.
Reaching out, puts so much on that person I love, how can they be honest?!? Know my thoughts good and bad, and know what needs to change, but who I am won’t allow it.
Can’t help but think that I am the poison in this world.
1 comment
You are not the poison in this world. You’ve been affected by the poison. sometimes we can’t change. That’s just a fact. But you can find the good in this. Just keep pushing yourself. It’ll pay off. If it doesn’t, you can be exceedingly proud of the fact that you put so much effort into bettering yourself when the world around you was trying to break you down. That’s more than most people can say.