I’m 22 years old and I feel utterly hopeless, at least compared to a few months ago. I live with my parents, work a low end retail job and have very few friends/social interaction. I’m going back to college, but even then I feel like it will be an utter waste of time in my life.
I’m introverted, so naturally I like to be alone. However there’s times where I get bored and lonely. Most of my friends either do activities I don’t like (clubbing, drinking) or don’t invite me at all for various reasons… I can make conversation with people and add them on facebook, get their number etc but it never follows through despite my best efforts or them saying that they’ll keep in touch.
Suffering from social anxiety, I often times overthink situations and have no luck with girls. I started dating this year and lost my virginity, however I was burned three times by 3 different girls. I have very little confidence in talking to and approaching women and always think negatively when put in conversations/situations with them….
It’s gotten to the point where I feel bitter and a bit angry. I do my best to avoid all non-essential social interaction as inevitably, nothing will come of it. Thing is, I’m not THAT socially awkward and do like to socializie sometimes. The problem is, is that countless bad experiences have ruined my confidence and way of thinking.
I’ve come a long way. 2 years ago I had no job, no education and attempted to kill myself. Since then, I’ve gotten a job, completed a community college program, dated a couple girls, lost my virginity and got better in dealing with catastrophising and social anxiety. However in the recent weeks I’ve fallen back into a deep depression and all of my progress has suddenly platueaed and has been slowly declining.
Isuicide an option? Some say no, some say yes. In my case, it’s definitely a possibility if things don’t get better… I’m so negative abd feel so hopeless that nothing else seems reasonable