I’m 22 years old and I feel utterly hopeless, at least compared to a few months ago. I live with my parents, work a low end retail job and have very few friends/social interaction. I’m going back to college, but even then I feel like it will be an utter waste of time in my life.
I’m introverted, so naturally I like to be alone. However there’s times where I get bored and lonely. Most of my friends either do activities I don’t like (clubbing, drinking) or don’t invite me at all for various reasons… I can make conversation with people and add them on facebook, get their number etc but it never follows through despite my best efforts or them saying that they’ll keep in touch.
Suffering from social anxiety, I often times overthink situations and have no luck with girls. I started dating this year and lost my virginity, however I was burned three times by 3 different girls. I have very little confidence in talking to and approaching women and always think negatively when put in conversations/situations with them….
It’s gotten to the point where I feel bitter and a bit angry. I do my best to avoid all non-essential social interaction as inevitably, nothing will come of it. Thing is, I’m not THAT socially awkward and do like to socializie sometimes. The problem is, is that countless bad experiences have ruined my confidence and way of thinking.
I’ve come a long way. 2 years ago I had no job, no education and attempted to kill myself. Since then, I’ve gotten a job, completed a community college program, dated a couple girls, lost my virginity and got better in dealing with catastrophising and social anxiety. However in the recent weeks I’ve fallen back into a deep depression and all of my progress has suddenly platueaed and has been slowly declining.
Isuicide an option? Some say no, some say yes. In my case, it’s definitely a possibility if things don’t get better… I’m so negative abd feel so hopeless that nothing else seems reasonable
5 comments
Yeah I would if I didn’t have loved ones and that’s the truth. But if you love them and truly do you would not do this to them.
Hey mate.
If its any consolation, I’m 30 and life is a pile of shit for me too. But let me say, you are 22 and have the whole world in front of you. I know that sounds cheesy and annoying, but I went through some dark shit and I’m still here. Granted, I am a very bitter, angry, hateful person but by the time you get to my age you could be very successful. My advice to you is to not give one f uck what other people think of you, say or do. People are scum bags. If its the case of you being alone for a few years to pursue your dreams then so be it. Don’t stop to worry about fitting in and trying to make friends etc because REAL friends and real people will enter your life in time and you shouldn’t have to fish for them.
I was disowned by my family and my friends at the age of 23 when I moved to another country to live, to escape the rat race and bullshit and I felt like I was stuck in utter limbo and despair.
The one thing I regret from the past is not having faith in myself and believing in myself, and having so much fear it paralysed me and stopped me from doing the things I really wanted to do. I had absolutely no self esteem and confidence to even talk to women and even when I managed to utter a word to them they were never interested and I honestly felt like I was cursed for life.
Sorry for mumbling on…let me to to my point……friends come and go….friends can be complete wankers and drop you just like that, same with anyone else. People are fickle. No one cares about anything any more. We live in a world where people are obsessed with Fagbook, Twitter, worshipping sub-mediocrity and representing the pinnacle of shit.
I say fuck all these losers, they are the real losers not you. If you have a dream go for it, fuck everyone else. Capitalise on anything that you can to get to where you want to go, because the person next to you will do exactly the same. I am a musician, writer and aspiring film maker. That means i am an artist, a creative, so i have had a billion disappointments and let downs. I have lost jobs countless of times because i couldn’t stand the losers i worked with, and feeling like im the only person of my kind, and being told by everyone else that im deluded and i will never make anything of myself in films etc because its an unrealistic dream.
Fuck them. I’d rather keep trying than spend my life working a shitty factory job etc wanting to blow my brains out on a daily basis.
You are 22. Sit down and think hard what your passions are and what you want to do in life and go for it and never look back. Yes, there are no garuntees in life but how do you know what will happen if you dont give it time? I felt like you did and im still here. Im not a success yet, and may never be, but i refuse to succumb to society. bullshit and end up like my parents. Fuck that.
Don’t kill yourself. You deserve so much better.
I really appreciate your comment, it was very thoughtful and I could relate to it a lot. My suicidal thoughts aren’t too bad but life is definitely Depressing. I’m sorry for all of your heartbreak and I sincerely hope you “make it”
I can’t make conversation with people in physical-life other than “hi hello how are you hows going whats up and all that starters” because i have low social skills, less confidence, anxiety , etc.
I understand you. I guess I also will never make it.
If you look around how many people would you say actually ‘make it’? Most peoples life ambition is to spend their lives in the same job, get a mortgage and have children. I might be missing something but that to me seems like complete failure.