The only thing keeping me here is my children

My wife and I began our relationship 16 years ago. It was the best time of my life, literally. ..in love, being loved. Words can’t express. But if you’ve been there, you know what I’m speaking of. As the years have passed we’ve taken the route that many couples have- marriage, children, etc. Somewhere in this I hAve lost her affection. Her quickness to anger and the feelings of revulsion I feel coming from her to me are breaking me down. I always took such comfort in knowing that we would grow old together…that I would spend my years with my best friend and the woman I love. Now that I feel that coming to an end, I can’t bear it. I’ve felt this for over a year now, and the pain and sadness of knowing that somehow I’ve allowed this to happen is too great. I struggle with it daily. The good days are good. The bad days never end. I’ve failed her and my 3 children. The only thing I stay for is knowing how much it will hurt my children when I’m dead. I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to hurt her. I simply cannot bear feeling despised by the woman that I love so incredibly much. I’ve considered razors, anti freeze, or hanging. The days have arrivedwhere I don’t consider it hurting my children to kill myself. I consider it a favor to them.