I have seen a fair amount of television drama and inspirational quotes about humans’ reason for existence. They always go on and on about how it will come to you and you just have to wait and most of the time the answer to your being is to find your one true love (which is really stupid, having to exist because of some stranger you cannot help but produce oxytocin to).
I lived a carefree and, at the same time, tedious childhood. I’ve try to commit suicide in already different ways since I was seven. Most of the time, I was too coward to go through it.
Since I was a child, death has been a topic too intimate than it should have been. Death as an end, death as the exit, death as a reprieve. I was much aware of this problem since then.
What is it that is stopping me from dying?
My family have each other.
My friends have other friends.
I have no lovers to speak of. Never had, never will.
I have no goal, no dreams, no ambition to motivate me to wake up tomorrow and live.
What am I still living for?
What is yours?
When you think about it, isn’t it easier to just dropped everything and leave? To never look back, to never suffer again.
Won’t it be a relief to just die?
(No judgement, no concerns, no needs to satisfy. Just nothing)
4 comments
Love is such an odd thing to live for. Why not live for the sake of playing the game? I don’t know what I’m living for. I just know I’m too big of a wuss to die.
I’m bored with playing. I’ve already tried that with people – both with strangers and friends. Humans, if understood enough, can be so disappointingly predictable. I never had a lover but I played enough in that game and I failed to see the novelty of it.
The method is both scary and painful and although suicide, they say, is a coward’s way, I disagree. It took guts and determination strong enough to take your own life. And even though I’m set on taking my own life in the near future, I’m still trying to collect enough courage to see it through the end.
Cheers.
Well Yes you are still alive. That is good. You have to make a purpose for yourself.
Find something you are passionate about an pursue it!
As far as Love you could find it if you look hard enough; you also can make friends and acquaintances that bring joy to your life if you try. If you want to have friends you have to learn to also be a friend and that means being good towards others. You have to be kind to others in order 2 receive kindness, you have to learn to get along with others if you want others to get along with you. You have to learn to accept others even with their faults if you want others to accept you with your faults. None of us are perfect.
You have to reach out a bit to connect with others in a positive way if you want others to reach out to you in a positive way. Trust me friends can be great. But you have to put some effort to be a friend on your side too. Love can be *** too and YES you could find that too, if you put the effort in to find it. and again you have to learn to love others if you want people to love you.
My purpose in life revolves around bettering myself and personal achievements and growing as a person. Everything matters when you learn to look at things that way.
You can find a purpose…. just put some effort in!!
invest time in these things and you’ll see your life get better and your purpose will become clearer
good luck
Thank you for that wonderful comment.
(^this is in no way sarcastic)
My family is broken and imperfect (as all families are) but I’m very much loved and cared for.
My friends all think I’m great and they look at me to make them happy oftentimes. Even acquaintances.
I’m easily bored with hobbies and activities.
Drawing, crafting, writing, sports. I’ve tried a few and I’m not disillusioned to think that I experienced enough but I don’t have the drive to do so.
The amazing imaginary world of books lost its brilliance inside my mind.
I never believed in love.
I don’t understand goals and striving to achieve it because won’t it be a waste to put in effort just to have it all gone the moment you take your last breath?
I accept myself as is and even though I have nowhere near enough of personal achievements, I never saw the point of having that in the first place.
Achievements gives people the idea to start a prejudice – a preconception.
Those lower than you will start trying to have more, complimenting you bitterly, laughing at your hard earned trophy because they don’t have it.
Even parents will put you in display because they feel proud of a project well done; like an investment that become successful.
I’m not trying to put you down with the above paragraph and I seriously envy that you have a world to orbit around, I don’t have that. You are seriously blessed, my friend.
Cheers and good luck to you too. May you never lost sight of your reason for living.