I was already suicidal and then I found this girl online, an old flame. We started talking and seemed to have a strong connection. Then she started talking to me less and less! When I asked her what is up and to be honest, she said that she tried to look past it, but can’t stand people who are on SSI and welfare without working or goals! I was absolutely floored! Another rejection? She was all into me and then dumped me like I was a piece of trash and claimed that we wasn’t together in the first place.
I immediately got a 12 pack of natty ice with intentions of drinking myself until I was brave enough to kill myself. My other ex, who I still love deeply knew what I was going to do and respected my wishes.
My plan was to hand myself, chocking off my carotid artery after taking the rest of my xanex. When I called my ex, I said, hunny, I’m ready! She cried but knew what I had to do. I went out for one last smoke and then shit hit the fan!
My aunt came down stairs and said she heard a crashing sound thst woke her up and had a “bad feeling”. I told her everything is ok. Then after the smoke, hoping she was asleep, I went upstairs to take my meds and there she was hovering over them, hiding my medication. Then she said she was going to let my uncle come down stairs and sort though his books (later found out he was listening to make sure I didnt kill myself).
Keep in mind I never tried to commit suicide before but they both knew I was suicidal. I was so pissed the fuck off and frustrated! So here I am, alive, lonely, and miserable! Forcing me to stay alive is sadistic at this point!
I have an absolute right to self determination and self ownership of my body! After all, it wasn’t my choice to be born in the first place and I been wanting to die for a decade! It isn’t like this is all new.
4 comments
dude people are superficial as fuck. especially women. like women will say one thing to your face; then go fuck your friend and whisper it in his ears. unreal pain bra
I been there countless times dude! Fucking sucks.
Hey man for what it’s worth, sounds like your aunt & uncle are pretty cool. I know a lot of “friends & family” who would just call the cops and have me locked up because they’d rather not deal with it. Sounds like your aunt stopped your suicide without getting pushy or righteous about it. So even if your ex treats you like crap, there are a few people in the world who are looking out for you.
regardless of your story, i think it’s awesome you have people in your life (e.g your ex) that accept your decisions, even if it means you’ll be dead. i’m not sarcastic. it’s just plain awesome.