I have to stop lying to myself.

This world is not meant for me as much as i try to fit in it. i have a good job, my parents both love me in their own way, im well liked even though i have no true friends, im imaginative, funny and very smart and yet somethings wrong as i dont fit in this world i have recently cancelled all of my social accounts when i noticed that no matter how hard i tried to connect with people ( i have paid for my so called best friend to come to the cinema with me. ) that i barely get any replies and the ones i do are regarding my fucking job. if i chose one word to describe myself it would be a liar as ive stopped people in the past from ending their own lives by telling them the usual ” it gets better ” lines and even though ive been practically oscar winning in my performance its all been a lie as ive never truly believed this myself. the day will arrive where i will break and use one of the many weapons i have surrounded myself with to end my life and other than my mum and dad i honestly cant think of a single person who would care, however please dont take this as a maudlin diatribe of self pity because its not not in anyway . in a silly way im actually quite happy i sit here now with a smile on my face knowing ive solved my great cosmic plan and how many can truly say such a thing and that plan is simple i was in this life to save the 3 people from ending their lives not because they are better than me far from but because they are simple more needed to help this world strive to be a better place so i thank you from the bottom of my heart anyone who has read this through to the end i hope it helps you in some small way and in the words of my all time favourite song ” im my own worst enemy ive given up put me out of my misery”