Something big hit me today when I was lying down on my bed. I have came to the realization there is nothing I actually want to do with my life. And when I say nothing I mean absolutely nothing. Everybody I have ever known has their own set of goals or things they want to do with their life. Whether that be in a loving relationship with kids, travel the world, go to concerts and parties,do any activities and so on. Everybody wants to do something.
Me? I want to do absolutely nothing. I don’t look at anything and be like I want to do this nor does anything actually bring me joy(I will be lying though if I said that video games didn’t give me some joy at times). Of course though, people could easily look at this as a cause of the major depression I have for not wanting to do anything. But when I look back, and I mean WAY back to the time where I wasn’t truly depressed, even though I was never happy with my life, there was nothing I actually desired to do either.
And now for the big question. If there is nothing I want to do in life, what is the point of living? What’s the point of living a life of full of work, pain and sorrow all to the end of my inevitable death? I should just kill myself now and get it over with, all I am essentially doing is saving myself from a life of nothing and just ending my life at a shorter time. I truly believe this is the best thing way to go. Damn, do I wish I wasn’t myself. How I wish I could of been a actual normal person. Who knows whats wrong with me.
15 comments
i know how you feel. i’m giving it two years after i finish school, once that’s done i guess i decide whether or not it’s worth it
Yea I am giving it some as well too
The one thing “normal” people have going for them is they’re oblivious. They do everything they are told. Go to school, graduate, go to work, get married, have kids, retire, die. They don’t think, they do. It may be an easy life because they are not inundated with terrible thoughts or feelings; but is it a good one? Doesn’t sound like it.
I’m sorry you feel you have nothing you want to do in life. Maybe it’s best just to enjoy the small things that bring you joy for the moment, instead of looking for something bigger that will bring everlasting happiness.
It may not look like it for us. But as long as they feel good it’s a good life.
Perhaps you’re right and I’m looking at it the wrong way. I would like to be normal, like everyone else. I could be if I tried, but it’s not easy to fake.
“But as long as they feel good it’s a good life.” That line is making me think. I suppose it is about emotional perspective. Anyways, best wishes to you gwerg.
thanks man I hope the best for you too
And regards to that line, I believe that life is nothing but the pursuit of happiness. No matter what you do with your life and how others feel about it, if you are happy with yourself it really doesn’t matter.
I feel the same. Only I can never do anything with my life or have anything in my life, no matter how hard I want it.
Im sorry best of luck to you
I believe the only way to feel differently about life is allow yourself to feel these feels of apathy Really feel it. Something in your soul is so hurt. This is all part of your journey. Just sit in the shit, as my acting coach used to tell us. Sit in the shit. After a while the shit will inevitably dissipate.
Sounds interesting. definitely might give it a try. Thanks
completely agree, i don’t want to do anything and nothing at all gives me joy, well even video games dont. I might just be playing them to distract me from ‘real life’
… not that it works
Yea I definitely use video games as something to escape from reality. I really like games that I could get really into so I can be thinking about nothing about the game
What is ‘normal’ anyway? Going to school, graduating, getting a job, getting married, having kids, etc…
we didn’t ask to be born, why be normal? Though if you are alive its probably a part of making life more tolerable… or something… I don’t know
In regards to normal that I mentioned I meant as having goals or things you want to do in life.