Just came here to vent

Hey.

I know that everyone is here for a reason and whatever cliche shit we’ve been listening to forever.

Right now, my life has no purpose. I don’t even know why I opened this site. But whatever. It has always been hard for me to find people to talk to. My parents are kinda supportive, but if you know anything about being Indian it is that your parents exercise complete and absolute control on your life. My parents don’t let me outside the house, except for school. Not even tutions, parties, nothing. Indians are conservative and rather, well, religious. But on days like these I find myself hoping that there is no god. Because if there is, then I sure have a lot to be upset about. I’ve been bullied all my life, but classmates, by so-called friends, by strangers, relatives, you name it; on the basis of my appearance, my rather “stupid” real name, the way I talk, the way I laugh, everything. I used to have so many friends once, I don’t know where my confidence went. My parents resent me. They say I’m an ungrateful idiot who doesn’t know anything. They’ve criticized me so much that even i believe that it’s the truth. I can’t choose my career. They say I’m too ignorant to do that. I wanted to pursue journalism, write. But the way I’m going, I probably won’t make it that far in life. I look rather inferior, and I don’t like taking pictures and even looking at the mirror. I’ve just gone numb. I’ve stopped laughing, or for that matter even crying. I know this sounds ridiculous and my life looks nice enough, but when I look around me, I see people with much lesser potential than me, far more incompetent, and I see them happy. I see that they have freedom, they’re well entertained, living cool carefree lives, have tons and tons of friends. It just breaks my heart. I’m literally a zombie. Sometimes I feel so sad that I don’t eat. Not that anyone cares. I’ve started to question my existence. Why am i here? I’m just, i’m miserable. I live without purpose. I’m immature. I feel like a complete and utter failure. I don’t have friends, find it too hard to talk to my family because all they do is criticize me, and I’m not even financially independent, because I’m underage. Life sucks. I’ve been practical all my life, and now I practically have no life. I don’t know how long I can fight. And I’m all alone. Ugh, this typing it out on the web was a bad idea. Not that anyone cares. You know, whats funny is that I’m like weed on a crop field. Useless. Unwanted. Something to stomp on and move on.