i don’t understand how people can be there one day and then all of a sudden they’re gone.
It’s not fair that we should talk every day for weeks on end and create this beautiful friendship where we are open and honest with each other and then lose it all. And for what? We got together and I spent the night at your house and we stayed up talking and kissing and, to put it in a word, caressing one another. Then when I admit my feelings to you, you shoot me down. It’s cool if you don’t want a relationship, I can live with that. But to then just stop replying to me all together? No more late night conversations, no more phone calls, no more anything. Just gone. How? I don’t understand. How can everything become nothing so fucking fast? What was so wrong with me for me to be so wrong for you? The worst feeling is not feeling worthy of someone.
You sent me into a spiral of negative imagination. I fucking lost my shit because of that. I became isolated and shut off once again because I wasn’t good enough to keep around for some fucking reason. All the while you’re out like nothing happened. Just carrying on with life as if bringing down my walls and letting you in after all my years of mistreatment from others meant nothing. It’s not fair that I should hurt because of you.
But it’s not fair that I should make you feel bad for not wanting me right? It’s selfish. It’s selfish for me to even consider that my sadness shouldn’t cause your happiness. What a load of shit.
Its alright though because I know I will come out stronger. You have changed. And so will I
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Life is meaningless and pointless. I turned cold to the idea of a beating heart. Life in of itself is a suicide mission since we are all gonna die anyway.