What are things anti suicide people say to you that piss you off the most?

I been suicidal for over a decade. I talked about it often with people but luckily was never institutionalized. Here are some of the things people said that got under my skin –

1. “Give your life over to God” – ok first off I’m a hardcore atheist so that doesn’t work. I was also severely depressed and miserable as a Christian as well so going back wouldn’t change a god damn thing.

2. “If you commit suicide, you will go to hell” – wow really? Is God that evil as to torture someone for all eternity because they wanted there sufering to end? Again I don’t believe in God.

3. “It will get better” – and they know this because? People been telling me that things will get better since I was 6 freaking years old but it only got worse and worse. I’m 31 now.

4.  “Think Positive” – omg I can’t tell you how many times I heard this. I been trying to think positive all my life. It’s tat amount to telling a skitsophrenic to “just stop hallucinating”. Thinking positive may be easy for people who got there shit together, married, have kids and a lot of friends with no depression or PTSD etc, but it’s impossible for me.

5. “Try New Things” – I HAVE ************! I been trying for decades to better myself. It didn’t work. Things just led to disappointment”.

6. “Maybe you should talk to someone” – ok I’m on SSI and to keep it I already Have to  talk to people. My psychologist and councilor. Doesn’t help and am very open and honest with them too. Talking to loved ones help more than doctors but nothing helps long term nor changes my desire to die.

7. “Try medication” – again I am on medication! Xanex, propranolol, and Paxil. I been on many different medications since I was 5 years old and these are the ones that keep me from having panic attacks. It takes the edge off but doesn’t cure the problem. I am still me and drugs are not a magic cure.

8. “It could be worse” – doesn’t help. If I’m suffering I’m suffering. It’s like breaking your leg and thrashing in pain and someone says “could be worse, you could have broke both legs”. Would saying that make the pain ease up? No!

9. “Once you do it, there’s no going back” – yeah that’s kind of the point stupid!

10. “Suicide is selfish, your gonna hurt the ones you love” – Of course it’s selfish! I’m not gonna do it for a god damn charity. And about the ones that care, I could turn the argument around and say there being selfish for wanting to stay here against my will. Of course it’s gonna hurt them but when you get to the point where the pain is unbearable, you don’t care, your brain won’t allow it. They should feel relieved that I would no longer be suffering!

11. “What if you fail and wind up in worse shape than you are now” – that’s kind of why I’m still alive! I’m doing research and planning on finding and financing a sure fire way to end my life as painlessly, quickly, and successfully as possible.

12. “Maybe you should check yourself into a hospital” – ok, people talking to me is not gonna change my mind. Plus my crazy ex from 2007 works there and she use to make fun of the patience. I also hate institutions and don’t believe they work. I don’t like to be controlled or told what to do, it makes things worse. I don’t care. I don’t want life! I’m a hedonist by nature living in a world of too many barriers and nihilistic realities. My pro suicide stance goes deeper than my emotional and mental state, it’s also my life’s philosophy.

13. “Call a suicide hotline” – I’m not gonna chit chat with people who pretend to care over the phone.

14. “Suicide is a cowards way out” – uh I don’t see the correlation. Even if it was I still don’t care. I’d be too dead to care. I get to define if it’s cowardly or not.