I am almost to the point of throwing my sister through a window. As I mentioned in my last post her seizure medicine gives her mood swings. Even worse, she watches children’s shows on Nick Jr. and YouTube all the time. Whenever she watches them on TV, she always has a reason to yell and scream. If a commercial comes on that she doesn’t like, she tells everyone she will not scream. She does it anyway. I’ve always thought my sister is autistic and I don’t know for sure, but my mom keeps denying that. If she is not autistic, then what is she? Seriously, her mood swings are to the point where she has to start getting help. My parents are like no, we’ll just keep dealing with it and getting angrier and less tolerant every day. Of course, my parents care about her a lot more than they care about me. My mom is always worried about her when she is outside because sunlight can trigger her seizures. I understand her concern, but have you ever asked me when I came from school “Are you feeling OK?”, “Is there something bothering you?”. No, you haven’t. Whenever you open your mouth to tell me something, you want me to do something for you. Put the clothes in the dryer, mow the lawn, go get gas, or whatever. My mom is in a wheelchair, and I don’t mind helping her, but that’s all she asks me to do. She never cares about what I’m going through as a 16 year old guy trying to start my life. I applied for a job, haven’t gotten it yet, but she isn’t giving me any advice. She worked as a grocery store for about 15 years, the only job she has ever had, and she loved it. Maybe part of the problem is that she met my dad through a classified ad in the newspaper. Sounds weird I know, but he comes from a pretty good family. Occasionally, my mom and dad get into arguments but it’s usually doesn’t last long and doesn’t involve anything considered as abuse or domestic violence. I guess this is a rant about anything and everything I can think of. My family reunion on my mom’s side is today and of course I’m shy so they treat me like I’m not even there. However, there’s really just one person on my mom’s side that cares about me, and that’s my aunt Judy. She has dealt with a lot of adversity the last year and a half. The family business is shutting down, she lost her house, and she is just getting by as a teacher’s aide. I just hope today is a day where someone will talk to me, listen to me, be accepting, and care about how I feel. I am DONE with me and only me in my life. I need someone, but I don’t have the balls to start a conversation with somebody. I know I went too in depth and I know I’m acting like a wuss. PLEASE COMMENT and give me some real advice!
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6 comments
First, you’re not acting like a wuss. Your allowed to rant about the struggles in your life here. It seems you feel trapped by your family and it’s unfair your mother is putting so much onto you when you’re barely holding on. I understand the stress they must be under from your sister’s illness, but that is why they should seek further help for her. I do feel you have to put your foot down because you’re not the parent, you’re the child. I understand parents need help sometimes but children need care. They should listen to you when you’re struggling and give you advice when you need it. Have you tried venting to your mother or father? What happened when you did? Would your aunt listen to you?
I can feel the desperation from your post and I would like to help anyway I can. It’s hard to talk to people, I know. I feel I can relate to your situation because my mother is the same way with me, relying on me for every little thing even though I’m crumbling under the weight. It’s good to know you applied for a job which is a step forward in a positive direction. I’m sorry if my advice isn’t what you were looking for. If you would like to talk, feel free to tell me. 🙂
Thank you for your advice. I will do my best to try to talk to you.
God suffer the meek, God suffers the simple, God suffers the unwell. You are not God. Don’t think of yourself as lacking strong moral fabric, or defective bc you are not Him. Revel in it
It sucks to feel like you are the outcast in your own family. I will probably sound really annoying, but maybe they do not realise what they are doing and even if they do, they probably have their own reasons. However, of course it does not justify they way your family treat you. Try to find another way to open up to your family, a different approach. It wont be easy at all, but worth a shot:)
I am so proud of you being such a intelligent and kind hearted young man. Especially because it is rare to find boys helping their moms willingly. Do not stop being good, you have such a big heart that i believe, you are going to do great things for people in the future:)
Your mom will realise and appreciate your effort one day. Remember, actions speak louder than words:)
If you want to, you can talk to me about things. Your family, friends, school, or even the universe:) I am always open for a conversation
And remember, everytime you feel like you are alone, please remember you have me to talk to:)
Thank you so much for commenting. My mom does annoy me sometimes but I will do almost anything for her. However, I don’t believe I have a big heart because I don’t talk to anybody and can’t bring up enough energy to talk to anyone. So, how can I be a caring person if the only people I talk to are in my family? To make it worse, I always play through my head bad things happening like my mom or dad having a heart attack or helping someone in a car crash, would I have the balls to do anything? I’m absolutely sure I would call 911 but could I rescue them? Maybe that’s not important but I just want to prove myself to someone to show that I’m worth it and can do great things. I’m just so done with me being too nervous to ask a girl out or talk to a classmate and stuff like that. Hopefully, applying for a job will show someone that I’m a worthy person. I will try to message you from time to time and again thanks for commenting!
hey, being a caring person doesn’t require you a solid proof that you are. Trust me, you’ve done so many good things, and every good deed especially to your family, even the little one, does count.
you ARE worth it and you can do so many great things in the future, i have faith in you. You, young man, have what it takes to be the next big thing:)
i know how it feels like to care about the people you love but go unnoticed. I would take a bullet for my family, and as much as i hate to admit it, im afraid to lose them. I also imagine things like can i save them when they are in danger, and all it does is make me feel more pressured *because of the uncertainty of what will happen*, so my best advice, instead of wondering how would you prove yourself, try to live in the moment. A lot of people have said this, but im going to say it again, appreciate what you have while it lasts.
your problems, such as being too nervous etc are fixable. You can work it out okay? and it is good you’ve found one thing that can give you that confidence boost:)