There must be some way to control your state of mind. Sometimes I get adrenaline rushes and feel like nothing matters and feel great, other times (like now) everything feels heavy and depressing. basically I am suffering because I can’t stop looking at suicide as a tragic event that will hurt everyone badly, including myself. How can I make it so I stop looking at it that way and instead develop an adventurous/relaxed and eager mindset for suicide? I want to stop feeling the intense guilt, regret, melancholy, and anxiety that comes with this. I’ve read and think lots of people here would “benefit” from learning not to think or worry, but only if you consider suicide as a benefit.
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I am just coming to the realization that I am settling into a more comfortable attitude toward suicide. It’s really synchronistic to have come across your post when I did.
I was just thinking how more and more, I don’t even care about the negative stigma about suicide. I nonchalantly told a friend yesterday that ive been suicidal recently. She of course got upset. But to me it wasn’t that big of a deal. I found myself wondering, “does this mean I’m not serious about it… or does this mean I’m MORE serious about it?”
Less and less do I care that people will be upset. Odd.
yeah.. think its a spontaneous act, rarely ‘planned out’. even though we do so in our heads. is it a benefit? yeah, for our ego.. but not for….whatever you believe in? you could believe we just end it here. then go into a black unknown void.
Think you need something to live for I guess. I tried hobbies, meditation, mindfulness. Dunno some not my thing but worth a go. Way I see life is if your not happy change it. There’s always a escape route just once you take it there’s no going back so make sure you try everything before you take the elevator up.