i cant speak emotionally if that makes since..

Ok. This might sound harsh. So ill apologize before hand.
You HAVE NOT reached your emotional maturity and wont for a few years to come, atleast i didn’t.
I still dont think i have, even now.
Idk about where you come from, but where i live, people start dating around the 8th Grade. And you know, generally speaking, you can see clusters forming, and these clusters could be perhaps aupport system on the individuals hence contained or maybe just a group of friends.
So these clusters, usually provide the much needed antidode to the stress and bullshit and rest of the stuff we have to deal with.
I never formed such a cluster, i have met people who didnt either. I have met people with their heads in multiple clusters.
You might be anyone of them. Or perhaps takr take an entirely different path i couldn’t even guess.
Oh, btw, clusters are referring to the groups of people.

So, if u ever feel down or sad, look in the mirror, and try not to see a person, not the eyes the nose the belly or any of the tangible features. See yourself as a BLANK SLATE, you are the best possible representation of INFINITE POSSIBILITIES.
You represent life, and all that comes with it.
Yeah, you might make bad choices and yeah, you WILL make a, hopefully, more than just a few good ones.