Hey everyone, I don’t wanna waste your time with this one so I’ll be quick. I want to die, and personally feel that all those people trying to prevent suicide are inhumane. They say it’s never the answer, that your family will miss you, there’s so much to live for. Well, I won’t miss my family, they are the ones who’ve made my life a living hell with overbearing expectations, as well as giving birth to a child who never asked to be born with the body, and mind they have. I probably sound ungrateful.. and I don’t disagree with that, but the bad things have always outweighed the good ones in my life. Maybe I’m feeling like I have a special case as I still am in my teenage years; but still, it feels like life has always had it out for me, surreal bad luck follows me with almost everything I do, sometimes I can’t believe it could be a coincidence that some things happen. One of the things that have made me despise my life so much is acne: I have painful cystic acne all over my face and body, and it’s been this way for years. I remember I enjoyed life, even cherished it, until acne came up. Everyday, struggling to move your mouth or anything because all you feel is inflamed pain, torturous. And maybe this acne wouldn’t have been so bad by itself. However, I was born with an incredibly sensitive mind, and also developed a negative/pessimistic outlook/perspective on life. The sensitivity of my mind has almost always done me more bad than good. It’s made small comments into mind breaking insults, constructive criticism into heart breaking words. I’ve always taken things too seriously, as much as I’ve tried to go against this frame of mind. Anyways, I’ve been suicidal for over 5 years, even remember holding a knife to my throat when I was only 7-8 years old. I’ve been looking for methods for offing myself, and so many seem either not practical, or too painful, neither of which appeal to me. However, a gas exit bag seems to be the easiest way to go. If you’ve read this far, I really appreciate you taking the time to do so, and any feedback is welcome as well. Thank you
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There is always a reason to live. You should find yours.
There’s not much I can do or say to help you.. have you tried looking for treatment for your cystic acne? and negativity and sensitivity of mind can be changed.. use google to find things like meditation and positive thinking etc.. I am just an idiot I can’t think of anything more. I wish I could help you
Of course, it depends on why someone is trying to prevent someone to commit suicide. If someone has generally been through that depression and wants to listen and help others, that’s nice. Unfortunately, most who try to prevent suicide do it for their own benefit and to sell meds. Not thinking about the person who’s truly hurting.
I can’t give you any input on methods for suicide. What I can tell you is I completely understand your acne situation. If it is really painful you do need to see a doctor about it, because it’s affecting your life so much and causing discomfort. I still have acne and suffered severely in my teen years. I had to toss out many shirts because I’d get blood on them from my back acne (sorry to be gross.)
I finally saw a doctor two years ago and it helped clear up the painful ones. The only reason I still get acne is because I’m a naturally stressed person, but treatment does help with the pain.If you cannot afford to go a doctor the only other advice I can give is to drink more water (some lemon juice in the water is good,) and avoid processed food. Eat more leafy vegetables as well. That helped me.
I understand becoming sensitive and pessimistic. Especially as you get older you start to see life differently and feel like no one can understand your situation. It can be true, a lot of users on this site cannot relate to the people who are around them offline. Sometimes it’s about building your self-confidence as well. Don’t take others comments too seriously and do what you feel is best. Easier said than done, but try to differentiate between helpful criticism from those who care, and awful criticism from those who just wish to make others miserable.
Best wishes. 🙂
Changing your diet does help for acne, and yup, it’s pretty terrible and painful when it’s the kind of acne you are describing, but it is manageable to some degree.
I relate with most of what you wrote, because i do think that some people do have that awful bad luck that haunts them no matter what (i’m one of those). At the end of the day it looks like no matter what you do, things still go bad for you while everything seems to be easier for others, but you know, sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. Your family might have gone through the same thing like you did, and so their parents, but you just don’t know about it. Same with other people you see around you, because even if people go through a constant daily hardship, they won’t share it with everyone.
I’m not saying that it makes it any easier or that it diminishes your pain, but there’s things you can do to help your condition (even if it doesn’t fix it completely), and times does change some situations (rarely everything remains the same if we do something about it). I’ve met people with the same crooked luck that have turned things around, and even if they still get some of that bad luck from time to time, they keep it’s consequences at bay. Hope things change for you.