lack there of

I am tired. Have not slept much in days or weeks or months. Seems like i keep reinjuring shoulder/neck injury from last accident where they hit my car. I am just tired of it all, the memory loss, thr cognitive and iq drop, the injuries, constant nightmares and not sleeping. I just want it all to end. I cant get medical, dental, or psych help here, for psych they don,t preform any tests written or physical so i dont know where i stand withe cognitive function loss and iq loss. Dont know whats going on with it, its like there are holes in it big and small and am difficulty with making new memories after bike/car accident, but now my clear memories before that are getting burry. What is the point in living if you can’t make new memories? I am alone here and have no friends just people who use me. My family does not want me around. My brother wont talk to me, mother does not want to deal with me or doesnt acknowledge what happened to me. My sister always hated me but now seems to feel sorry for me or some sort of sympathy. Ive tainted myself for relationships with women and thus will never have a family of my own. I am ashamed of my life, all that i have done to hurt loved ones, & having no accomplishments. I cannot hold on to new training ,education, learned skills, etc. everything just drifts away or is completely lost days after i stop doing/using it. I cant change, mature or evolve.