i dont see the point in why i even woke up today. haven’t been awake 30 minutes and already i feel like shit. get called a bum by my brothers boyfriend and of cores my brother thinks its funny. my next door neighbors are laughing at me while im crying saying “i hope she kills herself” while they are calling me a child molester with an std and thats probably the reason why im depressed, and my mother (who i love dearly) just thinks that i can flip a switch in my head that turns it all off and makes it stop. the only people i can tell any of this to is you guys, because if i tell anyone else im faking it and im trying to get attention. i cant be happy because im not good enough to be happy, i cant be sad and depressed because im not good enough for that eather, and then when i try to pretend like im ok and i put a smile on my face im fake and im trying to get attention. damned if you do damned if you dont. like i said only two options i have is to sit and rot away or just kill myself and die. unfortunately there is something inside of me that says i dont want to die even tho the rest of me is saying whats the point. thats probably natural. god said “im going to give you life, im going to make you want to stay alive, and im going to make you suffer for it, i want to see how much you can take, i want to see how long you can last before you decide to end your life.”
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I know what it is like to be lonley, I dont have any friends because of my anxiaty but if you want to talk i’m here for you 🙂
thank you, same to you if you want to talk i can give you my kik if you have one
Dont have it sorry, email insted?
ok cool
I have a kik i plan on living through the day well as many attempts as it takes that goes for anyone feel free to kik me dondiablo87
so whats your story donsmith78
It’s funny that we are encouraged to talk about our problems, and when we do we are labelled ‘attention seeker’. Depression does make functioning normally difficult, and people who have never experienced it have no idea what you are going through, but to find it funny is doubly harsh. Like you, I don’t want to die, but what else is there, you can’t go on like this. I wish I could give you some advice that’ll give you purpose, but no, I can find no words. Question is, if you had someone in your life you loved and who supported you would it make a difference, idk, feeling dejected is all there is at the moment. Perhaps, given time, things can change, but then again, but you are not alone, SP shows us this.
yeah your right knowing that kinda makes me feel better and even if you dont know what to say just being able to talk about it and having someone understand helps too, so thank you
I remember hating to wake up in the past. When I waked up from my dreams I felt such a feeling of regret. Another painful day awaited me. And I had to continue on.
You need to find pleasure and enjoy even the little things in your life. This is how you can build your life. Will your life stop being painful? No. But at least it will improve and you will be able to get out of your bed.
the only things i take pleasure in is sleeping, being on my computer and xbox and i do take great pleasure in those, but they are only distractions. eventually someone will come looking for you, and i have said this before things will not improve for me. i thank you for trying to give me hope but there is no point its gone. my hope jar is empty and trying to fill it up at this point is trying to fill a black hole. its just pointless
Yes, I try to give you hope because I can. I felt the same and I was hopeless. I had lost all interest in life. I enjoyed only sleeping. I stopped using my laptop and my computer and I couldn’t read even a book. Everyday when I waked up I was depressed and regreted waking up. It felt awful.
Now, I enjoy again my life and do the things I used to do in the past. It’s much better.
Why are people calling you a child molester?
because i called them inbreeders
? I don’t get it.
i use to live in a small town one of those towns that wont let you forget your passed because they are constantly throwing it in your face. so i get called a slut and a whore at first. someone even called me a pedofile where i worked as a “joke” because everyone there thought i like a guy who was 21. then when they see me with my dad im, dating an old guy then after they find out that he was my dad people started saying i have sexual feelings for my father, so i got mad and started calling them white trash inbreeders. then i start playing xbox, i gain some friends, and i even join a clan on bo2. unfortunately no one in this clan is over the age of 17 and im well over the age of 21. anyway while continuing to call these people inbreeders i continued my friendship with these kids to the point where i add 2 of them on face book. other people see this and they automatically think im a pedophile and a child molester. and of cores it all gets worse its such a long ass story
I’m extremely lonely and I know how it feels, to this day I’m still lonely and can easily fool people into thinking I’m “Okay”. If you wanna talk I have a kik and its SJ521
Just say suicide project and I’ll know your not a b0t 🙂