I don’t think people understand the true meaning of depression, or what it really is. When you are depressed you see your life as something meaningless, hopeless, worthless, loneliness, and the list just keeps going on and on as it continues. I attend a high school and people notice that I’m always somewhat depressed or feeling down but yet people never approach me and end up ignoring me and don’t really seem to care about me or what I have to say. When people do end up approaching me they only get to the point right away with what they really want from me. There is no “hey how’s your day?” “What’s up, I haven’t talked to you in a while! How are you?!” Nothing like that ever happens to me, what does end up happening is something like “do you have this?” and “can I have this?” or maybe “can I borrow this?”
Though, there is something that I have noticed which is that people care more about themselves than for the other people around them. While I am here trying to be nice to one another and yet nothing changes for me and I just end up isolating myself in my room as the days go by. I have also been attending the same school for several years and I have only been used for my belongings. I ended up making no friends what so ever as my years went by and the friends I did have ended up fading away throughout the years..I am now a senior in high school and I feel left out on all the fun activities that are taking place. Everyone will be hanging out with their friends while I’m nothing but another acquatince. I will most likely end up dying alone with nobody to have my back in this world..I don’t see a point in moving forward anymore, I have been trying for to long and now is my time to give up.
4 comments
i had some friends and they died out as you said yours did. i am another acquaintance. at 38 i have tried all kinds of ways to meet friends, positive people, better friends. doesn’t work. i know have a daughter and i am close with my mom. i love my husband, although he can’t fix me. hoping for someone else to fix you never works. i am not thinking that i must fix myself. love myself. help myself. i have a small world of people who care about me, maybe it is enough.
I hate reading posts like this. All I want to do when I hear about people like this, is give them the time of day.. Give them the time of day that they never get to have…. Honestly, I have my days when I feel like this too… and a lot of the time it helps when people genuinely want to help you and be there for you and what not. The people who understand that it won’t just go away, but are always willing to listen and put up with you regardless of anything that has happened. Granted, no one is perfect and I know I get antsy when I don’t hear from someone all day without a reason why… however, my point is people like you try to be genuine and nothing gets returned for that genuineness… Ugh I’m ranting.. but hopefully you get my point?
I too feel the same way. I just wish people will be a little thoughtful. A little goes a long way. A hello, how are you doing, will do much more than they think. Hold on, there’s someone out there who really cares.
High school was a bubbling cauldron of shit for me. The only saving grace was I found a group of misfits who felt the same. Most all the friends I had there disappeared after graduation. It happens.
Facebook is scary. People find me on there years later. “Oh! You were so cool.” Really? Really? At what point in the four years I was banging my head against the wall did you find me so interesting? Cue crickets chirping.