I’ve thought a lot about this and I think I’m scared to be happy. I’ve been miserable for so long it’s all I know. I’m scared to change, scared to start doing things and taking chances. Scared to smile. Does anyone else feel this way or at least understand?
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I think I do… You get so used to this blanket of depression and yes you’re miserable but it get’s to be familiar and a state that you’re used to, and change of any kind can be scary, am I anywhere close?
that’s exactly it! so glad it makes sense to someone else too
We’re afraid of the unknown… That’s why the idea of being “happy” can be scary sometimes. I can relate to what you said. I want to be happy, I’m just afraid of the journey leading to happiness.
how do we get over that? and start the journey?
I guess the journey starts when it wants to, we don’t always get the chance to decide what happens.
Sometimes things happen and we’re forced into taking the first steps to change, even when we’re not happy with the idea. I guess that most of times we’re not even aware of what’s happening around us… we’re so trapped in our own pain that when we wake up we’re already in the middle of the journey.
How do we get over that? Idk. I guess we can’t and just simply get used to the fear, or maybe that happens naturally. I’m still afraid though.
Truth is that life isn’t always bad, even though our brains sometimes make us think that way. If you really believe that things can change for the better (even if you have to fake your hope), maybe the unknown won’t seem that bad…?
Please, ignore my nonsense. I don’t even know what I’m talking about today heh.
@Tristeza: this might sound weird but, can i steal that line? (the “the journey starts when…”) it kinda begs to be used on a depressive-leading-to-hope-song, and i’m trying to write a couple. I thought i’d better ask (even if i might never use it, since i always start things but never finish them) instead of getting sued by a brazilian young woman sometime in the future, lol.
Hehe, feel free to steal it. Just don’t sue me either if you read it in one of my poems lol.
(The fact that you want to steal it is a big compliment, thank you)
There’s not a one-size-fits-all manual. I guess a good place to start would to start refuting any negative thoughts you have, like you think ‘I wish I were dead’ and then you say out loud “no, I’d rather watch a movie” or whatever, something said out loud has more power than just a thought in your head, because being depressed does become a habit, and it’s not gonna change automatically. When you wake up in the morning smile at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a compliment, even if you don’t like it and don’t want to. Big changes are caused by little steps. Try to figure out what ‘happiness’ means to you. agh I don’t know.
thank you. I think I’m gonna try but I’m scared as all hell. But I know I don’t want to live like this anymore and the fact is I don’t have the guts to die. so I better start living
It’s normal, i’m there most of the time, but you could see it as a trade kind of thing. You trade your safety blanket for the chance of something better. Nothing is free after all, and everything has a price, even if it’s paid with other kinds of “currency” (in this case, being kinda comfortably numb).
I guess that the only way to move forward is to accept, provoke, and embrace change. If the risk is worth the chance is only up to you tho, but if you’re not in a good place right now… well, maybe the trade is worth it.
It’s not easy but they say you’ve got to want it. You’ve got to thirst for change. It takes great mental stamina to emancipate oneself. The chronically depressed are virtually irredeemable.
It a Scared to Change vs Scared to Stay the Same battle royale in my head featuring André the Giant and Jerry “The King” Lawler. The ropes surrounding the ring are made from the fibers of my ego. The dented folding chair is labeled “hope.”
That isnan awesome analogy! I completely agree too, although maybe not on quite that scale of battle royale!
Reading this reminded me of another suggestion I heard a couple of years back and I think it could be apt for deperessive states generally. I agree with being scared of change, but to perhaps take it a stage further it becomes being scared of freedom. The almost sudden freedom to do whatever wherever can be overwhelming, I imagine especially for those who spend many unhappy hours indoors. Freeroma is spot on: little steps do lead to big changes. Keep perspective and make sure you take note of and enjoy every little win along the way. If you want change I am certain tou can do it but it has to be your conscious decision 🙂
Lol sorry re-reading that seems like i just nicked bits from the previous bunch of posts. Ignore me and thumbs up to all the above!
you should always say what you think, who cares if you repeat the same ideas and I like what you said. so thank you :).
I’m tired of how my life HASN’T been changing, so I’ve spent today trying to make things happen. I’m feeling hopeful. *fingers crossed*
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Nice.