Hi I’m a 14 year old girl who suffers with anxiety, however I have yet to be diagnosed. I diagnosed myself because it’s really not that hard to know you have it when all you do is worry or have panic attacks. I would love to speak to my doctor but my mum just doesn’t understand anything about anxiety or depression so that’s why I keep it all in. The one thing that gets me worried is arguments with friends, I start to get paranoid that the other friends I have don’t like me either so I push them away until I have no one to blame but myself. Right now a whole bunch of people do not like me and are known to fight. I don’t want to be hit because that’s not how I want to see things happen. I just feel so shit all the time, everything I do always turns out wrong. My anxiety stops me from doing everything and I hate the fact I can’t do anything about it. I’m so scared to even speak to someone. I feel so useless now, no point doing anything if it never turns out right. I just generally just can’t do this, not fitting in anywhere. Laurens (“best mate”)got other mates now and I’m left in the middle and I hate it. I’m so depressed and I’ve got no one to tell. Mum just doesn’t understand anything and I obviously don’t have anxiety because I met someone who I didn’t know, but I was so so so scared to and she doesn’t realise it. All because I actually managed to meet someone now it means I don’t have anxiety anymore. I just would rather sit alone in school because I still feel like I can’t speak to anyone anymore. Everything I do or say I feel like I’m being judged. Im always so paranoid on how I look and what people are going to say or what people are saying. I hate my self, I hate that I don’t get along with anyone. I hate that I can’t do anything write anymore. What’s the point in trying. I really cannot do this anymore. I’m done. Sorry I wasted your time.
4 comments
I just commented on your other post before I saw this one.
I hate it when people think you must be better because you managed to do something, without even asking if you struggled with it.
Is your mum actually stopping you from seeing your doctor about it? If she is, talk to someone at your school. It’s easier if you can speak to someone in real life about it. There’s lots of other available help out there too, but if you see a doctor they can refer you to see someone they think will help you and then you’ll already be on your way to feeling better. It’s important to find someone who will take you seriously, especially if it’s making you feel suicidal.
My mum just tells me I’m being stupid and want attention and everyone worries so I just need to stop. I don’t want to talk to anyone because I can’t. My sister went through it but she told me “I had it 10x worse than you did” but how would she know that? Just keeping it to myself is my only option now
It’s easy to think someone’s doing much better than they are, but she definitely couldn’t know that. If you can’t talk to anyone about it, have a look for self-help options. They can be a lot of help. There are courses and things people do from home to recover, or you could try some calming techniques until you’re well enough to see someone. Like I said, it might be useful to see what’s helped other people – support groups and forums online can be good because you can write anonymously and talk to people who have experienced it.
It still might be worth asking if your mum or sister would go with you to talk to a doctor, because they should be able to help you. But there are other options too. Don’t keep it to yourself if it stops you getting the help you need.
It is unfair to be judged by other peoples standards. What would bring another person to their knees might not faze me and vice versa. Push to see a Dr. Don’t believe people when they minimize your own feelings. They are your to own, not there’s.