You know what, I really liked you, love. You were smart, funny, shy, passionate- you were everything I was/am looking for. And yet, apparently, I am not good enough for you. Why, you ask? Apparently, my 4.0 slipping to a 3.5 (the lowest GPA I have ever held, btw) isn’t good enough for you, even though I considered blowing my brains out on multiple occasions (And I even had the glock pointed to my head you ass-face), even though I cut my legs to ribbons for years, even though I was crippled under multiple mental illnesses and an incredibly well-developed sense of self-loathing (and two eating disorders. And multiple food allergies. And constant physical pain from dislocating joints). And yet I am not good enough. But you know what, I cannot be bitter. I miss what we could’ve had, and I am sorry I couldn’t be who you are looking for. I truly hope you find the love of your life. I truly hope you live a stupidly happy life with hilarious memories of the adventures you pursued. I am sorry to all my past boyfriends, for I could not be the girl you are looking for. I don’t know what it is about me, but I cannot seem to keep the fish on the line (heh). There must be something wrong with me… Hopefully I will discover it and fix it. Until then, love, I send you my best wishes for you. Good bye 🙁
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11 comments
Oh
Yeah, pretty much.
That’s a very sweet, understanding post. It’s easy to become bitter, so it’s nice that you don’t feel particularly bitter now. One day you’ll meet a lad and you’ll be *everything* he was looking for. You’re an amazing person and you deserve someone who appreciates you for the ray of sunshine that you are. 🙂
Thank you for your reply Trix. I always adore your advice, but I value it even more today knowing how horrid you are feeling. Thank you for braving the darkness and being able to give out beautiful words even in the darkest of times. I send you love and light, love 🙂
If a relationship doesn’t work it’s usually because both parts didn’t match together. If you try to force a puzzle it won’t show the picture that it was supposed to depict. All we can do is try our best, and our best isn’t enough… well, for someone it might well be. The fact that you accepted him for what he was already says a lot of good things about you.
I might be wrong here, but the idea that we have to be “good enough” for someone is so… unfair, i mean, if we can’t be ourselves all the time with the person we are with, why are we even trying for them?
After many heartbreaks (and no fish in the net currently) all i can say is: when the person that’s right for you appears, you’ll be more than good enough, without the need to do excruciating gymnastics to keep him. It might take a while, but waiting for something real is worth the time.
Thanks Mf, you are totally right. I just have to be patient (one of my worst flaws of all). I’m still not sure if I truly deserve happiness, but I’m working on it. Thanks again love 🙂
I was going to comment but they said everything worth saying, ha. You brighten up our day with your wonderfulness, someone IRL is going to find you and absolutely adore you, scars and all.
Thank you freeroma 🙂 I am very, very glad I can brighten you day! You are all to lovely to not have bright days. And I hope you are right.
Ok, let’s see. Tons of people here absolutely adore you, including me!
There’s a list, probably hundreds of comments long, about how wonderful you are, how much you brighten people’s days on here, how much you drive us all crazy (in a fun, goofy, silly way), how beautiful you are, etc.
I guaran-damn-tee you, there is someone out there who will fall madly in love you, who will love you even more than we do! (Still my teddy bear! Mine! :P)
I can feel like complete and utter shit (hell, I feel shitty now) but when you speak, it’s like sunlight burst in and just warms up the cold, and you feel so good, even for a short time… So thank you for the millionth time (seriously woman, I’ve complimented you how many times today :P) and I love you, I love you, I love you..
*Compliment overload.. brain imploding in 3…2…1…” You are such a love-bug! Haha thank you very, very much. It’s just very tiring and discouraging to have been rejected yet again, but I just need to stop feeling sorry for myself is all. The right man will come along… hopefully with a Starbucks in his hand heh heh. It makes me extremely happy to know I can make at least one person’s day better… Thank you for always being there, love. I love you too 🙂
You needs to email me, like now 😛 my email is on my profile 🙂