If there is at least one thing that can bring you enjoyment, then there is reason to keep looking for ways to get better. Not everything works at first, there’s different reasons why this or that doesn’t show results.
– For Mum and Dad. I don’t want to pass this onto anyone else.
– To remind my little circle of online friends how much I love them.
– To learn how to cure or learn to live with my illnesses.
– To learn to be happy again.
– Because I’ll be damned if all those years of mental torture led to nothing else.
– When things are beyond my control, because of the lack of viable methods.
The main one is to give myself the chance to feel happiness again. Time is necessary to feeling happy and enjoying life again.
You know I’ve heard it said there’s beauty in distortion
By some people who’ve withdrawn to find their heads
Now they say that there is humor in misfortune
You know I wonder if they’ll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
You know some people say that values are subjective
But they’re just speaking words that someone else has said
And so they live and fight and kill with no objective
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the living from the dead
Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
You know I used to weave my words into confusion
And so I hope you’ll understand me when I’m through
You know I used to live my life as an illusion
But reality will make my dream come true
So I’ll keep fighting to live till there’s no reason to fight
And I’ll keep trying to see until the end is in sight
You know I’m trying to give so c’mon give me a try
You know I’m dying to live until I’m ready to die
Well assuming our basic instincts like: “seek good feelings, avoid bad feelings” are thrown out the window. What’s the difference between life and death? Simpel, in death you control nothing (assuming you’r atheist) but in life, you control a walking piece of meat, blood, skin and organs. Namely you. With this body you can force and shape reality to your liking. Like: Care for loved ones (who might still enjoy life), vote, run thro a city naked, pickup a rock in the forest and place it wherever you please and know that it will stay there for a some time (assuming you pleased it placed, somewhere discreet). Point is! Even if you don’t see a point in any of these activities, a time may come where an event, situation or opportunity presents itself that you would want to invest in… Also you were dead for a long ass time before you came to life (assuming you’r atheist) and you’r going to be dead for a quite some time again, but life is not as long.
If you don’t want to live life to feel it, live it to use it.
And as you see here, people are holding on because they have assigned purpose and meaning to their lives. This purpose wasn’t assigned by a supernatural entity or their parents or a mystical revelation. Despite the pain, the depression, and tiny keyboards on phones, they decided that they could help others. In doing so there is a bit more love and brightness in their lives.
Yeah it sucks… You have to think of a purpose for yourself before you can enjoy making it a reality. Consider it like eating your vegetables before you can eat desert.
Folks have all sorts of mechanisms (some more fucked up than others) that they use in order to draw “joy” from life, and most of the time… it isn’t anything nice. But if you decide to take a slight reprieve and revel in a small victory attained from getting shit done in your own time or such… You can let that lift your spirit — even just a little — without gaining bad karma.
I’ve personally never gained any such “joy” from life, only in the things I’ve done. Most of that stuff is a long forgotten memory now (my short term memory is getting worse as well) but the feeling is still there… somewhere…
Heh, i gave up on living long time.. Yet am still alive, how come? I am a mere tool.. You can say a servant . I live for the sole purpose of someone sick i have. I try to make his life enjoyable, fun and comfortable. This is how i live a life when i cant enjoy it.. I dont wanna count the things I gave up on.. You can sum it up with “everything”
I feel like my depression wants to paralyze me and not let me have even one moment of joy for the rest of my life. I have to force myself to do things that will give me at least the chance of feeling something like enjoyment however brief. I have to give myself the chance of feeling ok. A lot of the time I don’t fight hard enough probably to punish myself. I don’t think I deserve any happiness or enjoyment or that is what my depression wants me to believe. I will now force myself to shower, dress, get some shopping, watch a series, have a decent beer and something I like to eat. Hopefully I can get a moment of happiness knowing I fought depression and won again. If I just keep sitting here I am not even in with a chance. *forces self away from laptop and into bathroom*
16 comments
Please consider the possibility that you do enjoy life but depression/anxiety erases your memory of it.
Yes. I’m formatting daily little by little. I’m depressed.
If there is at least one thing that can bring you enjoyment, then there is reason to keep looking for ways to get better. Not everything works at first, there’s different reasons why this or that doesn’t show results.
Help me to be happy. I tried everything. And I’m tired of trying + miserable.
Can you be a bit more specific than ‘everything’? Counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, CBT, medication, meditation, mindfulness…
Here are mine:
– For Mum and Dad. I don’t want to pass this onto anyone else.
– To remind my little circle of online friends how much I love them.
– To learn how to cure or learn to live with my illnesses.
– To learn to be happy again.
– Because I’ll be damned if all those years of mental torture led to nothing else.
– When things are beyond my control, because of the lack of viable methods.
The main one is to give myself the chance to feel happiness again. Time is necessary to feeling happy and enjoying life again.
I appreciate your comment. Thankyou.
Being here for the people I love.
Honestly this is the only reason why I’m trying to hold on.
Same. Holding for months thanks to the site.
You know I’ve heard it said there’s beauty in distortion
By some people who’ve withdrawn to find their heads
Now they say that there is humor in misfortune
You know I wonder if they’ll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
You know some people say that values are subjective
But they’re just speaking words that someone else has said
And so they live and fight and kill with no objective
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the living from the dead
Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
You know I used to weave my words into confusion
And so I hope you’ll understand me when I’m through
You know I used to live my life as an illusion
But reality will make my dream come true
So I’ll keep fighting to live till there’s no reason to fight
And I’ll keep trying to see until the end is in sight
You know I’m trying to give so c’mon give me a try
You know I’m dying to live until I’m ready to die
Edgar Winter
Well assuming our basic instincts like: “seek good feelings, avoid bad feelings” are thrown out the window. What’s the difference between life and death? Simpel, in death you control nothing (assuming you’r atheist) but in life, you control a walking piece of meat, blood, skin and organs. Namely you. With this body you can force and shape reality to your liking. Like: Care for loved ones (who might still enjoy life), vote, run thro a city naked, pickup a rock in the forest and place it wherever you please and know that it will stay there for a some time (assuming you pleased it placed, somewhere discreet). Point is! Even if you don’t see a point in any of these activities, a time may come where an event, situation or opportunity presents itself that you would want to invest in… Also you were dead for a long ass time before you came to life (assuming you’r atheist) and you’r going to be dead for a quite some time again, but life is not as long.
If you don’t want to live life to feel it, live it to use it.
And as you see here, people are holding on because they have assigned purpose and meaning to their lives. This purpose wasn’t assigned by a supernatural entity or their parents or a mystical revelation. Despite the pain, the depression, and tiny keyboards on phones, they decided that they could help others. In doing so there is a bit more love and brightness in their lives.
Yeah it sucks… You have to think of a purpose for yourself before you can enjoy making it a reality. Consider it like eating your vegetables before you can eat desert.
Live life; enjoy the little things.
Folks have all sorts of mechanisms (some more fucked up than others) that they use in order to draw “joy” from life, and most of the time… it isn’t anything nice. But if you decide to take a slight reprieve and revel in a small victory attained from getting shit done in your own time or such… You can let that lift your spirit — even just a little — without gaining bad karma.
I’ve personally never gained any such “joy” from life, only in the things I’ve done. Most of that stuff is a long forgotten memory now (my short term memory is getting worse as well) but the feeling is still there… somewhere…
Heh, i gave up on living long time.. Yet am still alive, how come? I am a mere tool.. You can say a servant . I live for the sole purpose of someone sick i have. I try to make his life enjoyable, fun and comfortable. This is how i live a life when i cant enjoy it.. I dont wanna count the things I gave up on.. You can sum it up with “everything”
I feel like my depression wants to paralyze me and not let me have even one moment of joy for the rest of my life. I have to force myself to do things that will give me at least the chance of feeling something like enjoyment however brief. I have to give myself the chance of feeling ok. A lot of the time I don’t fight hard enough probably to punish myself. I don’t think I deserve any happiness or enjoyment or that is what my depression wants me to believe. I will now force myself to shower, dress, get some shopping, watch a series, have a decent beer and something I like to eat. Hopefully I can get a moment of happiness knowing I fought depression and won again. If I just keep sitting here I am not even in with a chance. *forces self away from laptop and into bathroom*