Okay so I’m going to be ranting for a bit. If you read my last post, you might remember me saying I met someone a while ago who helps me with my problems. Last night, I was feeling really horrible so I texted her because talking to her always cheers me up. But she kept reading my texts and not replying. So I just moved on, thinking she was busy. Then one of my other friends showed me a picture of a conversation between her and a guy. The guy kept asking her for nudes. She has been exploited in the past for nudes from guys so I wanted to put this guy in his place. I asked what his kik username is and I messaged him. At first I was just messing with him, I was in a bad mood from that special person ignoring me by now so I felt like screwing with him. Eventually my mood got really bad and I just started yelling at him for what he said. Then we started arguing and he said things like “if I were you I would kill myself” and other stuff I don’t really want to think about. I was fine talking to him while we were arguing since I had a mental barrier up from my bad mood, but later in the night when that barrier dropped I felt like a human piece of garbage. I then texted that special girl about how she just wants me out of her life and I’ll just rot in hell and I’m going to kill myself. She said I was blackmailing her to talk to me. I was in such a bad mood while having a panic attack I didn’t realize what I was saying. Now it’s the next day and I’m almost positive she hates me. I’ve never wanted to die so much in my life. But I promised her I wouldn’t kill myself and I’m holding myself to that, whether she hates me or not. But I’m so depressed from most likely losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me that I don’t know what to do with my life anymore…I’m sorry for the rant
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12 comments
Wanttogiveup,
wow! really there is alot to think about here, you have a friend that enjoys talking to you and you her, then she talks to someone else which makes you angry, i know your thinking he’s using her and all that, but she is talking to him, she must want too? i don’t have a solution or sound advice, Once i did the samething in a way, i was out of town and lonely a girl was nice enough to keep company with me, i started having feelings for her, the next day she was keeping company with someone else!!! i got very upset!! and contforted her!! she made me feel like crap!! the moral of this story for me was, i didn’t own her, and i was to stupid to think about that 🙂 i appoligised and guess what she kept me company again. food for thought?
Either I misunderstood your post or you misunderstood mine. There’s two girls I’m talking about in my post. One who is the one who seems to make my problems go away, and another who is just a friend. I was feeling angry because the first girl was ignoring me, which affected me later while talking to the second one
Oh that was a bit unclear, gotta be more specific with the pronouns… That seriously sucks (ya you don’t need me to tell you). You need to send her one sincere heartfelt apology with an explanation, telling her you know it was inexcusable and you will never do that to her again, then back off and give her space, because you know you hurt her with what you said.
Hrm… Good advice…
I basically stole it from a comment SeeSmith made, that wise Zen master
Wanttogiveup,
yeah you should have told me you were a manwhore!!! 🙂
I’m not…me and the second girl are just friends…I would never do that to the first one…if that was a joke I’m sorry I didn’t take it that way, I’m not in the mood to laugh
Wanttogiveup,
it was a joke! you need to laugh too! being to serious all the time doesn’t help either. 🙂
I’m sorry. It’s just the first girl means the world to me times an infinite amount of times over. And after what I said…I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me. So I’m not exactly in the greatest of moods. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up though 🙂
So it was definitely an overreaction (been there), but you were hurting badly. It’s understandable. There must be a reason why she wasn’t talking in the first place, although if she knew how badly you’ve been feeling I think she could have approached it more sensitively. If she really wants you in her life she’ll forgive you – all you can do is make it clear how sorry you are and how much you regret it. But it sounds like she might already have some issues with talking to you. It might be nothing to do with you and just a situation of her own that she’s dealing with. But try to give her space and take a bit of space for yourself as well. Distract yourself, talk to us, make more connections. This is painful but you can get through it. That guy was an idiot. Please don’t take any of what he said to heart.
I told her I’m not going to talk to her until I can mamage my mental illnesses better. So yeah I’m giving her space. And it’s not that I’m taking what he said to heart…it’s just I took what others said like that to heart in my past. It’s like that guy ripped the bandaid off I had covering what those said in the past and now the blood is spilling again.
I can understand that. It sounds like you’re handling the situation really well. Surround yourself with positive thoughts and hopefully you can reverse some of the pain that people have caused you in the past.